


Hard to Love

by dvg



Series: Hard to Love [1]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 43,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dvg/pseuds/dvg
Summary: Another Robron AUAaron is an award-winning actor with a seemingly perfect life. Robert is a hard-working single father with no time for love who vowed to give his daughter the best life he can.These two lead very different lives, but when they run into each other - literally - sparks begin to fly. Aaron has never met anyone like Robert before, and he is instantly drawn to him, and he finds himself opening up his life - and his heart - when he had given up on love years ago. But he can't ignore the pull on his heart from their very first meeting. There's just something about Robert and his daughter that makes Aaron want to risk his career to make them his forever.They both have pasts that they wish they could forget, and demons to conquer. But can their newfound love be powerful enough to help them face them and conquer them at last?
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: Hard to Love [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190684
Comments: 333
Kudos: 563





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing my last AU where Robert was a single father and raising a little girl on his own (awww right?) and Aaron being famous and I couldn't help but want to write another one from a totally different perspective. I'm not sure if it's anything anyone wants to read so here's just a snippet to find out if there's any interest.

Aaron Dingle loved being an actor, but the celebrity status that came with it was something that wore him down. His movies had grossed nearly two billion dollars worldwide, and the one he was about to start filming was going to be the most important of his career.

To the public, he had the perfect life. But behind the glitz and the glamour lied a dark past that followed him everywhere he went. After growing up with a neglectful mother and a father who had abused him, a career in the limelight was the perfect escape, one he hadn't expected, but fate had somehow decided it was what they owed him for such a tough upbringing.

And fuck if he wasn't grateful. He spent years trying to forget his past, to bury it in the ground where it belonged, and acting had allowed him the opportunity to re-invent himself. 

He didn't shy away from the attention that his celebrity status brought, but it wasn't exactly one of his favorite parts of the job. But it came with the territory so he tolerated it, but the constant attention, the swarm of women that threw themselves at him despite the fact that he was openly gay often made him feel like he was being suffocated, but he kept his feelings about that under lock and key. He didn't want to risk losing any of his fans or the chance at auditioning for a role by being a temperamental actor who closed himself off from his fans and the public.

There had been a lot of rumors in the media about his love life, all of which were untrue with no proof to back them. According to multiple eyewitnesses, he had whisked away his latest romantic companion on his private jet for a romantic weekend in the Caribbean last weekend prior to his arrival back in London.

Aaron snorted at that one. Aaron's publicist had shut down the rumors immediately. The world was just waiting for him to come forward with his new love, but there was no one he was remotely interested like that. Fearing what the court of public opinion would do to his career, he kept his private life private. His romantic entanglements were kept just that - private. He didn't talk openly about his private life, and he preferred to keep it that way.

Not that there was anything remotely interesting about his love life.

As the black car drew to a stop, the passenger side door pushed open and Aaron stepped out. As he rounded the hood of the car, with his security blocking him, he darted across the street and headed towards the crowd that had formed in front of the brick building that housed the TV studio where he had interviews booked with local media to promote his upcoming movie, _Hard to Love._

He had a million other things on his plate that he had to deal with before filming began, but he found himself gravitating towards the large crowd of fans gathered outside the barrier of the television studio. He would say his usual "good morning" with a smile even though the number of people made him nervous.

It was that smile and those two simple words that had women swooning over him and reaching out to try and shake his hand. He was flattered, but they weren't exactly his type. Being a gay male celebrity - a well known gay male celebrity - came with a lot of responsibility, but it never stopped the female population from trying to grab his attention.

And the woman currently shoving a piece of paper into his palm was no different. He almost laughed at how funny it was that women still tried to convince him to switch to the other team. He stared at the phone number written in black ink and stuffed it in the pocket of his jacket. He would toss it the trash when he got inside. 

He could have his pick of any man he wanted, but he knew what _they_ wanted: to date _Aaron Dingle,_ the actor, not the man.

The same scene had played out the same way a thousand times when women - and men - approached him. He could have his pick of any man he wanted, but he knew the only thing they wanted was to date _Aaron Dingle the actor_. They didn't care about the man underneath. If they did, they wouldn't necessarily like what they found. He had a dark past - one that he preferred to forget existed.

He wanted someone who wanted him for more than just his fame. But for now, until his career slowed down, which didn't appear to be happening anytime soon, he had to be content with crawling into an empty bed at the end of the day. 

He'd been in love once before - and it had nearly cost him everything. He wasn't going to make that mistake again.

Instead of dwelling on it, he plastered on the smile that had won the hearts of millions of men - and women - around the world and signed autographs, stopped to take pictures with fans before being ushered into the TV studio where he would begin a very busy, hectic day of interviews before he headed back to the hotel. He turned back to wave to the crowd of fans still loitering outside the television studio, then disappeared inside.

"They love you," his head of security, Adam, said, his dark glasses concealing the grin Aaron knew the man wore like a second skin. 

"Yeah, I don't get it either," Aaron said with a smirk, before someone crashed into him. "Hey, watch where you're going!"

"Sorry!" The man who bumped into Aaron leaned down to grab the papers that had fallen to the ground. Aaron couldn't take his eyes off of him. He couldn't explain it, there was just something about him that made it impossible for him to look away. The blond hair, the embarrassment in his piercing eyes, the nervous smile held his attention. The man currently on his knees stuffing papers in his briefcase was very attractive. But it was the smile that curved the man's lips as he stood back up that had Aaron's heart beating wildly in his chest. 

The soft smile, which Aaron was sure was not intentional, was effectively making Aaron's palms sweat. He stuffed his hands in the pocket of his pants and pretended to be unaffected by the man's presence.

Robert took one look at the man he had collided with and immediately recognized him. After all, he didn't live under a rock. He had seen Aaron Dingle's picture plastered all over London billboards. And now he was in close proximity to the real thing and he couldn't find his tongue as he wondered if Aaron was as lean and muscular as he seemed in his movies. "I, uh...I'm late for a meeting and I was rushing, and I didn't see you."

"It's okay," Aaron said, instantly wanting to apologize for the way he had spoken to him. "It's my fault, I should have paid closer attention to where I was going." Aaron smiled at him as he bent down to retrieve a piece of paper that was still on the ground and handed it to the stranger that had somehow stolen the breath from his lungs. "Here you go."

"Thanks," Robert said, taking it. 

"Aaron, we have to go. Now," Adam said, letting out a long drawn out sigh, cutting through Aaron's thoughts. He started to steer Aaron in the direction of the long hallway that would lead them to the television studio.

"Right." Aaron offered the man one more smile - the smile that melted thousands of hearts worldwide - and followed Adam. Just as they got to the end where they would have to turn left to get to their destination, Aaron turned around hoping for one more glance.

But the man was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about Robert's past and the boys can't get each other off their minds.

Robert learned the hard way that real love didn't last, no matter how much you wanted it to. Him and his wife, Angela, had been on the brink of divorce until her life was cut short by a drunk driver. Ever since that night, he lived with the guilt, and a pain in his chest that still hadn't gone away. 

Mila had still been a baby when Robert had received the phone call that no one ever wanted to be on the receiving end of. Nothing could have prepared him for hearing the words _your wife is dead_ from a total and complete stranger.

That night had altered his life - and his daughters - forever. 

They had fallen out of love with each other, but had fought to stay together for their daughter. They had both hoped that bonding on the child they made together would bring them closer together, that somehow they could find the spark again, but their efforts had been futile. The love that had exsisted between them long ago was gone and there was no way to get it back. They were sniping at each other constantly, slamming doors, blaming each other and going to bed angry, and that's when they decided it was time to put an end to it. Neither of them wanted their little girl to grow up in a house like that. 

Robert had grown up poor in a broken home, where his father ruled with an iron fist and a leather belt. He could picture his father in his mind. Him laughing. Him drunk. Robert could see him burning with rage and shame every time Robert had disappointed him. He never could do anything right, not in his father's eyes. It had been a never-ending cycle of disappointments and frustrations. In the end, his father had turned him away, kicked him out. 

He refused to be anything like his father, and if he knew if him and Angela stayed together they would eventually resent each other, and he didn't want that, and neither did she. If they agreed on anything, which wasn't a lot at the end, it was that they didn't want to hurt each other any more and that they needed to put their little girl first, so they made the decision amicable to quietly file for divorce, but before the paperwork could be filed, fate had cruelly taken Angela's life from her in the middle of a dark deserted road, making Robert a widow.

* * *

Robert still hated to be called a _widow_.

He didn't feel like one.

He stared at the baby monitor on his desk. All he could hear were Mila's quiet snores.

He smiled.

His meeting at the tv station had gone well this morning, with the station manager promising to give his charity event ample coverage. Every year his charity organized an annual reception, on Angela's birthday, to celebrate her life and to help raise funds to help stop drunk driving and to support the victims and their families that have been impacted by this violent crime that had cruelly taken the life of his wife.

Mila was almost four now, and they spent most of their time at their house, Home Farm, in Emmerdale, but they spent two months of every year in London organizing the charity event. During those months he continued to grow the haulage business with Jimmy, working remotedly while Jimmy ran things back home. It was a good arrangement, one that had turned their small little company into one of the most sought after haulage companies around.

Robert picked up a pen and twirled it between his fingers as he stared at the computer screen in front of him. He was in his den reviewing the latest contracts that Jimmy had sent over while Mila slept upstairs in her room, but his mind was elsewhere.

He couldn't get this morning out of his mind and his run-in with a certain famous actor and the harmless flirtation that had left him utterly confused and frustrated.

Doing what he had trained himself to do, he tried to block the man out of his mind, but this time it wasn't working. He wanted to see Aaron again, and it left him baffled. In the two years since Angela's death he hadn't been even remotedly interested in anyone - man or woman - but suddenly he found himself unable to stop thinking about him and his gorgeous blue eyes.

He knew from his own experience that relationships didn't last, that love faded with time. Rational thought just didn't play a part when lust or love was involved. And unfortunately most people, him included, had a way of mixing up those two emotions. 

And that usually spelled disaster, but he had a sinking feeling it was already too late.

And the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach only got larger when an email from Elisie, the station manager he'd met with earlier, popped up on his screen.

_It was great meeting you today. We are really looking forward to partnering with you to help support your non-profit organization. I just wanted to give you an update that we've managed to get one of the country's biggest celebrities to MC the event. I just got out of a meeting with Aaron Dingle's management team, and got the good news that he's agreed to do it._

Robert stared at the screen blankly before turning his head to the framed photograph on his desk of Angela and Mila on the day Mila had been born, and tried to shake off the shroud of guilt and pain that hung over him like a cloud. 

His two girls were the reason he did this, why he fought so hard every year to make this event a success. And a celebrity of Aaron's stature MC'ing this year's event would bring in a lot of money for their charity, and it made him wonder why Aaron would want to do it. He hadn't even been aware he had been on the short list of local celebrities that they'd been working on approaching to host the event.

The last person - the very last person - he expected to offer his services was someone as famous as Aaron Dingle.

Maybe Aaron wasn't the tempermental, conceited celebrity Robert thought he was. Never judge a book by its cover, Robert thought.

A dozen emotions ripped through him. Until that moment he didn't realize what the universe was trying to tell him, that maybe it was time to finally let go of Angela's memory and move on with his life.

* * *

 _Hard to Love_ was the story Aaron had been waiting his entire career to tell. It wasn't a big-budget blockbuster like his last film, but it was a story about love and honesty and acceptance, three things that had been missing in his life.

And he was staking his entire reputation on this film. Not only was he the star, but he had written the screenplay.

If there was ever a time for this story to be told, it was now at this point in his life. And if there was ever a time that he needed to focus one hundred percent of his pure and total concentration and to give it his all, it was these next eight weeks of filming. He couldn't afford to let anything - or anyone - distract him from making this movie a success.

Only, as he fielded more questions from the interviewer about his personal life, his mind went to the stranger in the hallway that had caught his attention almost immediately and had almost made him forget how to talk.

Aaron Dingle did not flirt and he did not make the first move, but today he had, and he had a feeling if he ever saw this guy again - which he wanted to, God did he want to - his intense focus would be in serious jeopardy.

He wanted a cold beer. He could already taste it, that first long sip that would start to wash away the long day of interviews and a stranger that hours later was still driving him insane. He could deal with the questions about his career, his new film, but the intrusive questions about his personal life, the same damn questions that every reporter asked him was starting to piss him off. It was part of being in the spotlight, he knew that, but it didn't mean he liked it.

If only they knew the truth, that he hadn't been with anyone since his engagement to Jason had been called off. The video of their very public break up in front of a night club had been all over the internet. Aaron had felt like such a fool for falling for the lies that came so easily to Jason. After Jason's affair had come out, Aaron had seriously thought about walking away from the limelight. Jason's betrayal had nearly destroyed him and had almost ruined his career. But he was lucky to have people in his life that helped him realize that he was Aaron fucking Dingle and he could have any man he wanted. He was not going to lose everything, his career, his self worth, just because his fiance was a lying sack of shit.

It would be totally unprofessional for him to say what he was thinking, so he held his tongue.

"I'm not with anyone at the moment," Aaron said. Nor did he want to be. "I'm really happy with the way things are going with my career right now, and I just don't have the time for any distractions." God, he hoped that answer would satisfy them because he had more important things to talk about then his personal life. 

"There were rumors a couple of months back about you and Josh Lienor," the interviewer, a petite woman in a black suit and matching pumps said, crossing her ankles and looking at him expectantly.

Josh Lienor was a pompus, over paid actor, Aaron thought. Aaron couldn't stand to be in the same room with the man, let alone date him. The thought was so ridicolous, he almost laughed. 

"I met the guy once," Aaron said, interrupting her. "And no offense to him, but he's not exactly my type. Anything you've heard, it's just rumor."

The interviewer switched gears. "You won an Oscar last year for your performance in _Lights of Shadow_ and now you're tackling an even bigger role in _Hard to Love_ which begins shooting in a few weeks. This is the first time you're not only tackling an acting role but you were also involved in writing the screen play. Tell us a bit about that and why this story has been an important one for you to tell."

"I don't want to give too much away until the film is released, but it's a beautiful story about finding acceptance within yourself and in the process finding the one thing that you didn't know you've been missing in your life. I can't wait for everyone to see it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about Aaron's past before the boys meet again.

No one really knew what Aaron had been through, the events in his life that had nearly taken him down a path of destruction with alcohol and drugs as his only companion for dealing with the pain that on some days had been too painful of a burden to carry. He hated thinking about those dark days that were long gone now, but that every once in a while popped up, reminding him how far he'd come.

All everyone saw was the facade, the confident, rich and famous actor that plastered on a smile so fake for the cameras that even Aaron had started to believe that man was real.

But he wasn't.

The real Aaron was broken, lost and had never felt so alone.

He had never spoken pubicly about it, about _him_. His first boyfriend, the first man he had become involved with after he'd come out, the only man he could honestly say he loved, had been killed instantly when he'd blown through a red light and was hit by another driver coming the opposite direction.

All because of his affair with cocaine.

He had been gone almost six years now. That awful night had changed him, shaped him. After that he had turned to drugs and alcohol for solace, and somehow in the middle of all the chaos that was his life his film career had taken off, and it hadn't slown down since.

Life didn't always go to plan, he mused, because becoming an actor definiately hadn't been part of his.

That awful night, forever stitched in his memory, was why he agreed to do this charity event. Every year he made donations to different charities, but this year he wanted to do more. He wanted to lend his voice, to do more than just write a cheque. He wanted to make a difference.

He had found himself drawn to the man he had only heard about through his agent who had lost his wife tragically two years ago when she was killed by a drunk driver. He thought of Michael, another life lost, and the pain in his chest increased.

Driving under the influence destroyed so many lives, he was proof of that.

With his celebrity status, he could try and make a difference, and in that he could finally talk openly about his own experience, about a moment of time in his life that he'd never spoken out about.

Maybe it was time.

And maybe, just maybe, he could finally let the past go and find some peace.

* * *

After another gruelling day of publicity shots and script readings at the studio, Aaron was exhausted. He just wanted to go home, pop open a beer and let sleep overtake him.

He stepped inside the kitchen with its slate blue tiles, marble counter tops and stainless steel appliances. He couldn't even remember the last time he cooked anything in here. There was fresh fruit in the old stoneware bowl on the counter, a row of African Violets in bloom on the wide windowsill over the sink, but the house felt so empty, so unlived in.

Aaron shut his eyes. He had survived, but there were moments when he stepped into a room and the quiet felt so loud that he wanted to scream. 

Moments like right now. He gripped the counter and let out a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. 

He grabbed a beer from the fridge and stepped out into the private backyard through the double set of french doors. A home this size was meant for a big family to live in, he mused as he lowered himself down onto the bench that wrapped around the deck. God, he wanted a family. He wanted a husband, two or three kids running around. He wanted it all, but it was so far out of reach he knew it wasn't something he was meant to have.

Maybe this, everything he had, was all he was meant to have, that love and a family just wasn't in the cards for him.

He wasn't ungrateful; he knew he was a lucky bastard for having the life that most people dreamed of. Money, fame, millions of men falling at his feet. What the hell was there to be sad about?

But he knew the answer to that. Love. He wanted love, but didn't feel like he deserved it. He'd been reckless, and made mistakes, and been made a fool of. His life is hectic, it's in the spotlight, he'll always be surrounded by reporters and cameras and he doesn't know anyone who would put up with that kind of life for him.

_You don't deserve to be happy._

His dad's words come back to haunt him now and then when he's vulnerable. He can't turn his brain off, not tonight. Something is brewing inside of him, but he can't place his finger on it.

He blamed Michael, he blamed the drugs, he punched walls and drank himself stupid until everything was a blur and nothing made sense. Every night he crawled into bed not knowing if he would be able to get out of bed the next day.

He had been estranged from his own mother for a long time. They had only reconciled after Michael's death, when he'd fallen apart. Grief stricken, he had been inconsolable and he knew he had been a real nightmare to be around, always sulking, always crying or lashing out, but she had been there for him, supported him through one of the toughest times in his life. He wasn't sure if he could have survived getting through those first few months without her and Paddy there for him.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and fired off a note to his agent that he wanted to set up a meeting with Robert to discuss the event, to go over the details. He wanted Robert to know this meant something to him, that he wasn't doing this to further his career. He felt an invisible pull towards this man, and the child he had read about in the papers, for two people he had never even met. Maybe it was empathy, maybe it was something more. 

He drained the last of his beer from the bottle and went back inside. Just as he made his way through the house to the master bedroom to have a shower, his phone dinged. It was a message from his agent.

_Mr. Sugden would like to meet with you tomorrow morning if you're available._

Aaron wrote a quick reply back that yes he was available and to send him the details on where and when and he would be there before he stepped into the bathroom and started the shower. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, rubbed his hands over his face.

And couldn't help but wonder why he just couldn't stop thinking about the man he'd met the other day. Which was stupid, he thought as he pulled back the glass door and stepped under the spray. It wasn't like he was ever going to see the guy again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be honest I've struggled with writing lately, wasn't even sure if there would be any interest left in this story. Thanks for those that stuck with it.

The morning of Aaron's first meeting with Robert, he poured himself a cup of coffee and scowled at the bitter, burnt flavor as it hit his tongue. He leaned back in his chair and switched on the lamp on his desk before booting up his laptop.

It felt like an invasion of privacy, to go online and read about the tragic circumstances surrounding the death of Robert's wife, but Aaron had to know more about the man he was going to be meeting with in just a few hours. He read through some articles that had been published online about the accident, and the subsequent lawsuit that Robert had filed against the man responsible for his wife's death.

A few different headlines popped up. He clicked on each one as he sipped coffee, and the more he read, the more furious he became and the more he found himself wanting to do to help.

_Drunk driving accident claims the life of wife and mother._

_Robert Sugden, who filed a lawsuit against the driver convicted of drunk driving in the accident that killed his wife, has been awarded three point five million dollars._

_Robert Sugden has established a non-profit organization in the name of his late wife to help bring awareness to drunk driving and to support families of victims who have been through a similar ordeal._

He didn't know what he had expected, but as he read through the latest news article about the upcoming charity event that he had agreed to MC, an image of a man holding a baby girl in his arms, taken, according to the small print, at the first annual event last year, had Aaron doing a double-take.

_Robert Sugden, seen here with his three year old daughter Mila, raised over a hundred thousand dollars last night at the first annual charity event for Angela's Angels._

Aaron felt his heart do a flip flop inside his chest as he stared at the photograph underneath the article. It dawned on him then, that the face he hadn't been able to get out of his mind since yesterday, was staring back at him.

* * *

Robert did a little research on Aaron after dropping Mila off at daycare. What he found online wasn't anything surprising considering Aaron was a celebrity. Between the paparazzi constantly shoving cameras in his face and the few interviews he could find online, Robert couldn't blame the guy for being so closed off when he was asked about certain aspects of his life. He recognized the fake smile, though. He plastered on one of those on a daily basis. They both seemed to wear it like a second skin.

What he knew about Aaron he learned from the tabloids and articles online, but he had a feeling that the persona he portrayed was just that. What was the man really like? Robert had a feeling there was a lot more to the man that met the eye. It made him curious, and it made him question his own sanity that he was spending so much time thinking about a man he had met once. 

And that was what worried him, that one run in with the man and Robert couldn't stop thinking about him. He wanted to know more about Aaron, the real Aaron. Not the actor, but the man. 

He needed to think about something else. Anything else.

Robert distracted himself by brewing cofee - _actors like coffee right?_ \- and flipping through the list of volunteers and companies that had either donated their time or funds to the event, preparing for his meeting with Aaron.

There he is again, Robert sighed. _I can't get him off of my mind and it's bugging the hell out of me._

The distraction was working up until the knock on the door. When he opened it, there was Aaron on the other side in jeans and white t-shirt under a black hoody zipped halfway up. Then he offered Robert a friendly, curious smile and suddenly Robert couldn't find his tongue.

"We met yesterday," Aaron said, reaching out his hand. "Aaron."

Between the pounding of his heart and the thunder of lust in his blood, Robert couldn't hear him. He was just staring blankly ahead at the man he couldn't get off of his mind, and now here he was in the flesh, standing in front of him, and he couldn't speak.

"Robert right?" 

That brought him back down to earth. "It's uhh...nice to see you again," Robert managed, shaking his hand.

Aaron smirked. "So you do remember me then."

"You're kind of hard to forget," Robert said before he could stop himself.

"Ditto," Aaron said, and Robert couldn't help but notice the dimple that flickered at the corner of Aaron's mouth when he smiled.

He was surprised he managed to find his tongue at all. "Sorry, come in."

As Aaron stepped inside, he couldn't help but notice all the toys scattered around the living room. On the top of the marble fireplace were three framed photographs. The blond haired, blue eyed little girl in all of them was beautiful. She looked like an angel, Aaron thought. But it was the silver framed photograph in the center of the mantle that pulled at his heart strings.

"Is that your wife?" he asked, hoping he wasn't bringing up any bad memories.

"And my daughter, yeah." It had been taken shortly after they had returned home with Mila from the hospital. He transported himself back to that moment, when he'd been so happy, and still so in love with his wife. Why couldn't they have stayed that way forever?

"You must miss her," Aaron murmured. "Your wife."

Robert stuffed his hands in the pocket of his jeans. "We were in the process of getting divorced when she died. But yeah, I miss her. She was an amazing mum to Mila."

"I'm sorry," Aaron said, because what else could he say?

"Life goes on, right?"

"I suppose." Aaron resisted the urge he had to reach out and touch Robert's arm. Instead, he changed the topic of conversation to the reason he was here. "My agent said you wanted to go over a couple of things."

"I know you're very busy, I won't take up a lot of your time. Coffee?" Robert walked into the kitchen and grabbed two mugs from the top shelf. He poured the freshly brewed coffee to keep his hands busy more than the need for caffeine.

When Robert handed Aaron the mug, their fingertips brushed and Robert felt it again, that spark that had been instant the day before. Robert felt foolish for what he was feeling, and dropped his hand. He had to fight this - whatever it was. He hadn't felt this way about anyone since Angela. He was not prepared for the emotions he felt. It was crazy and dangerous and _too soon_. But when he looked up at Aaron when he realized neither of them had spoken a word for a few minutes, he realized in a panic that he wasn't the only one feeling it.

The evidence was clearly displayed in Aaron's eyes.

"My office," Robert said quickly, shoving all other thoughts aside but the business at hand. "We can go talk in there."

As Aaron followed Robert down the hall, Robert blurted out, "you're the last person I expected to sign up for this." Aaron looked offended and raised an eyebrow. It had Robert running a nervous hand through his hair. "Sorry, I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"What way did you mean it then?" Aaron perched a hip against Robert's desk and crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's just, you're _really_ famous. It's not like you need to do charity work to get noticed, you're already a big named celebrity. Why do this if not to help further your career?" Needing to put some distance between them, Robert sat behind his desk.

Time, to be honest, Aaron thought. It was the only way. And for the first time in a long time, Aaron wanted to talk about it with someone that wasn't his shrink. "About eight years ago my boyfriend was killed in an accident while he was high on cocaine."

"Aaron, I'm so sorry," Robert said, his eyes full of compassion, like he was seeing the real Aaron, not the actor, for the first time. "I had no idea."

"How could you?" Aaron said. "I've never talked about it publicly. It's a very dark part of my life that I don't like to talk about with anyone." So why then did he feel so passionately about sharing it, baring his soul, to Robert? "I need you to promise me that what I just told you stays between us. I can't bear---"

"I would never tell anyone. It's your story to tell, no one else's," Robert said. "But it does make me understand you a little better, why you're so closed off in interviews when you get asked about your private life."

"It's none of their damn business," Aaron muttered. "I hate that part of my celebrity, the part where every person I sit down with or that shoves a camera in my face wants to delve into why I'm not with anybody. The constant questions drives me up the fucking wall."

"It wasn't your fault," Robert said, recognizing the guilt on Aaron's face all too well. "You didn't force him to do drugs, you didn't make him get into the car that night."

It was true, Aaron thought, he did feel guilty. He'd been punishing himself for something that had been out of his control. He forced a smile he didn't feel. "I know, but it doesn't stop the guilt does it? I'm always going to wonder what if I had been there, what if I could have saved him?"

"Don't play the what if game or you'll never be able to move on." _Maybe you should take y_ _our own advice,_ Robert's mind taunted him.

"It's a hard habit to break," Aaron said. 

"I know what you mean," Robert murmured. "I feel the same way sometimes. I feel guilty a lot, too. If I had made enough money Angela wouldn't have had a job, and she wouldn't have been on that road that night and Mila never would have lost her mum."

"It wasn't your fault," Aaron said, and before he knew what he was doing, he reached over the dark mahogany desk and put his hand on top of Robert's. 

They both felt it, whatever it was between them, but neither man could acknowledge it. It was too risky.

Neither man moved their hand, either, both desperate for each other's touch.

Robert didn't want to feel like this, but he knew it was too late to stop it now. A part of him wanted to grab Aaron by his hoody, pull him forward and kiss him, but the rational part of his brain took over and he cleared his throat before removing his hand and leaning back in his chair. 

Aaron was a trained actor so it was easy for him to disguise his disappointment at the loss of contact. For reasons he couldn't yet identify, he felt like he could be himself around Robert without worrying about putting on an act, and he was finding it harder and harder to deny that there was something between them that had nothing to do with business.

He'd been so busy the last few years, so focused on his career to think about anything else. He didn't have time for falling in love, not that he was even capable of letting himself, but as their eyes met again, Aaron found himself wanting to. He hadn't felt this kind of instant connection with anyone in years, and he wasn't sure what to do about it. He didn't even know how Robert felt about him. Maybe Robert just thought he was an overpaid, self centered actor.

"I didn't cope well," Aaron admitted. "I hated the taste of it, but I drank a lot of fucking alcohol. Sorry, _alcohol_."

Robert laughed at the curse word that came off Aaron's tongue so easily, and Aaron was pretty sure that sound was the sexiest fucking sound he'd ever heard in his life.

"You can curse around me," Robert said. "The only thing I ask is that you refrain from doing it when my daughter is around."

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, of course." That gave him some hope that this wasn't over, that he would get to see Robert again and maybe even meet his daughter. Aaron's gaze dropped to Robert's lips for a split second, imagining how they would feel against his own, before he looked up again and met Robert's eyes. "I'm far from perfect, Robert. I know that. But what you're doing in memory of your late wife, is important to me. I'm not here because it'll make me look good in the public eye, I'm here because I want to be and I want to help make your event a success because I've lived through the pain of losing someone and I know how it affects people. And yeah I know it's not the same, but I feel like you and me we share a bond because of what we've both been through." Aaron leaned forward, never breaking eye contact with Robert who swallowed the lump that had suddenly found its way to his throat. "So, where do we start?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little teaser as the boys both go back home, not realizing they both grew up in the same village and are about to run into each other....again

He knew what she was doing when she asked him to come home before the filming of _Hard to Love_ began. 

She was worried about him. God, he hated worrying her, God knows he had given her enough to worry about over the years, but in the last couple of years he'd been fine, he'd overcome the hurdles life had thrown his way, and he was proud of it. Him. What he'd become. It was a miracle he was alive, really.

He'd acted out a lot growing up, then came the coming to terms with being gay. Yeah, he hadn't handled that well at all. He didn't want to be gay, he had wanted to be normal, but when he realized he was never going to be, that's when the drinking and the drugs started. And the fighting. His short stint in prison for GBH had taught him a harsh lesson, one he hadn't forgotten to this day. Then he had found Michael and his life felt like it was finally turning around, but then Michael died and Aaron crawled back into a hole of despair where drinking and drugs were his only way of survival. Then he turned to acting just to get out of his own head and got his first big break and stepped into a role that literally changed his life. His career took off after that, and he'd never looked back. He didn't just act for the money, though that was certainy incentive enough. Pretending to be someone else allowed him to forget his pain for a little while and delving into new material, new scripts, he found not only gave him a escape into a different world, but it brought him joy. 

Aaron knew acting had saved him in a way nothing else could have, and he didn't take one moment for granted.

It made him think of Robert and the way he was using his grief for the greater good.

He just couldn't get Robert out of his head and it was driving him mad. There was just something about the blond haired man that he couldn't stop thinking about. He had felt it the first time they met, then the other day when they'd looked into each other's eyes across the desk in Robert's office.

He had a million things on his plate, but Aaron went back home, back to Emmerdale, for the weekend. Filming began in eight days, plus he had Robert's benefit. He would go, stay a few days just to ease his mum's mind - and get her off his back.

And maybe he could for one minute stop thinking about Robert.

If only it was that easy.

As he drove into the village he'd called home for most of his life, Aaron couldn't help but feel the pride that swept through him. He had come from a small village and had made something out of himself - out of his life - after a broken childhood and a difficult tragedy that he knows could have easily ended in him losing his own life as well. He had been so close to the edge, so close to taking that final step into oblivion. He tried not to think about that part of his life - the dark side - and he had only ever really opened up about it to family and his therapist, but the other night, the connection he felt with Robert, the bond he felt that they shared, had opened up the floodgates again. 

He needed somewhere to breathe, to pull himself out of the hole he could feel already himself falling back into.

Coming home was just what he needed.

His face was pale and fatigued from the lack of sleep and long flight, his hair touseled by his hands, his face roughened by stubble when he walked into the pub. She stood behind the bar serving a customer, her face one full of concern and worry when her eyes landed on him.

He tried not to roll his eyes when her arms enveloped him into a hug that clearly said _I've missed you, Son_ like it had been years since she'd last seen him when they talked over Skype practically every other week.

"Welcome home," Chas whispered.

But he hadn't stepped foot back to Emmerdale for a few years, something he knew weighed heavily on his mum's mind.

"I wasn't sure you were going to make it here," she went on, already pouring him a pint. She was worried about him. His eyes were dark, shadowed by exhaustion. 

"I promised I would, didn't I?" Aaron dropped onto a chair and took a long swallow of the pint. He was trying hard, maybe too hard, to block the image of him and Michael here, where they'd first met. He looked up, met his mum's eyes as she slid into the chair beside him.

"You look tired," she said. 

"Was a long flight."

"Are you sure that's all it is?" She wasn't convinced, especially when she knew the anniversary of Michael's death was fast approaching. Aaron always got extra moody when the date rolled around. It was part of the reason she had been so relieved when he'd agreed to come home for a visit.

"Mum, I'm fine," Aaron assurred her. "It's just been hectic, that's all. I'm fine." But he was anything but fine.

And he traced it back to a blond haired widower that he couldn't get out of his head.

* * *

Robert had to admit that Aaron intrigued him. It was everything about him, but it was his kind heart that had thrown Robert off because he definitely hadn't expected it. Aaron had a bad boy image. There were rumors of drugs and alcohol, of bar fights and one night stands. But the man that Aaron portrayed to the public wasn't the real Aaron - the real Aaron well that was a completely different person altogether. One Robert couldn't wait to get to know more.

Aaron wasn't just another stuck up and rich celebrity like Robert had thought he was. He was far from it.

And that was what unnerved him and had kept him up half the night. It didn't help that his mind kept trying to conjure up what Aaron looked like under those dark hoody's he always wore. Telling himself he was not attracted to Aaron Dingle was something he could no longer deny.

It wasn't just his looks - but damn, Aaron Dingle was sexy - it was the way he had opened up to him about the death of his boyfriend, a story very few people knew, and he had let Robert in, told him something so personal, so life altering that had Robert wanting to know more about the man. For all Aaron knew Robert could take the story to the tabloids and exploit it. But Aaron had trusted him, without reservation, and Robert knew just how hard trust was to give away when you'd been damaged the way they both had been.

Robert would never betray his trust, and the fact that all he wanted to do was take all of Aaron's pain away - the pain he saw so clearly in his mesmerizing blue eyes - worried him. That he felt something so strong for someone when he had spent the last few years with walls built up around his heart. But the thing was he wasn't afraid. He wanted to let Aaron in; he wanted to show Aaron the part of himself that he'd kept hidden away for so long.

It was like they had known each other forever. Robert could feel it between them from the first time they met. But neither of them were looking for any sort of relationship - but maybe they both needed a friend, someone they could unload to when the days got tough.

They were going to be working together, _closely_ , for the next couple of weeks. They both shared a common tragedy, something very few people understood. Robert reasoned with himself that that was the only reason he felt this pull towards Aaron.

It was useless really because he knew that was only part of it.

But he couldn't think about that. He was a single dad; he didn't have time to fantasize about love and romance. His daughter came first, her well being, and getting involved with someone like Aaron screamed _complicated._

But deep down he knew he was lying to himself if he said that he wasn't curious, that he didn't feel anything whenever Aaron walked into a room.

_You want him and that scares the hell out of you._

Yeah it sure as hell did.

Robert looked through the rear view mirror as he drove into the village and saw his little girl sleeping in her car seat, her tiny fingers clutching her stuffed bunny.

He smiled.

It was good to be home.

* * *

After spending the morning unloading groceries, then watching Mila run around in the backyard, Robert strolled into the pub as if he owned the place with Mila in his arms. She was squirming, anxious to run around and burn off her excess energy. When he spotted the two women behind the bar that he'd come to see, he grinned.

"Hey Vic, Diane. Miss me?"

"That's bullshit. I never even met the bloke!"

Robert recognized the agitated voice instantly. There, coming through the back of the pub, was Aaron, phone pressed to his ear, a scowl on his face. When their eyes met across the bar, both men could only stare at each other. Not wanting an audience for the particular conversation he was having, Aaron left the pub, slamming the door behind him as he went outside, phone still to his ear. 

Diane, used to Aaron's outbursts, ignored him and reached out her arms for her granddaughter who giggled as Diane covered her face in kisses.

Robert saw the anger mixed with pain in Aaron's eyes. It made him want to follow him, to make sure he was alright, but he stayed where he was, his eyes trained on the door Aaron had just slammed.

"That's Aaron," Victoria whispered to Robert as she poured him a pint.

"Yeah, we've met," Robert murmured.

Confused, Victoria frowned. 

"He's the MC for this year's benefit," Robert clarified. "We met in London a few days ago. What is he doing here?"

"He grew up here. His mum owns this pub with Diane."

That was news to him.

Robert couldn't shake the feeling that whoever was on the other end of the phone had upset Aaron in some way. Before he could think it through, he said, "I might go and just make sure he's okay."

He didn't wait around for Victoria to reply. When he got outside, he found Aaron around the back of the pub leaning up against the brick wall. His eyes were closed but he looked anything but relaxed. Robert wanted to strangle whoever had upset him.

"Everything okay?"

At the sound of Robert's voice, Aaron opened his eyes. A small smile touched his lips, but it was fake and Robert saw right through it. 

"Yeah, fine," was his curt reply.

"You probably just want to be left alone, but I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."

"What are you doing here?" Aaron said. "I didn't know you lived here."

Robert leaned against the wall and turned to look at Aaron. "I grew up here, moved away after my dad kicked me out. I came back after my wife died. My step mom and my sister both live here. You probably know my sister. Vic."

"I've been friends with her for years," Aaron said. "She mentioned she had a brother. Never imagined it was you though."

Robert smirked. "This is a bit weird, isn't it? We run into each other literally, then you sign up to MC my charity event. And now here we are again."

Aaron's eyes darkened and Robert swore he saw a flicker of a smile touch his lips that wasn't faked. "It's almost like it was meant to be," Aaron said quietly. 

"Yeah," Robert murmured. "To be honest, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. After you told me about what happened with your boyfriend," he added quickly. He wasn't ready to admit - or accept - that he had feelings for Aaron. It was too soon and it was crazy and it didn't make any logical sense.

What the hell was he doing?

_Leave now before you say something else stupid._

He couldn't - wouldn't - fall in love again. Not with Aaron. Not with anyone. 

_Don't do this again, Robert! Think. Use your head. Getting involved with Aaron is asking for trouble._

But then again, when did he ever use his head?

Robert had nearly changed his mind, he almost turned around to walk back to the pub and leave Aaron alone when Aaron shot him a smile that sent Robert's heart racing. He didn't want to question anything, the only thing he knew was that whatever was going on between them, it was too late to change course. He didn't know who made the first move, but suddenly they were pressed up against each other and Aaron was looking at him in a way that made it impossible for Robert to catch his breath or remember his own name.

He didn't know who kissed who first, only that as soon as he felt Aaron's lips on his, he was lost. Aaron's lips were hot, his tongue insistent. Robert eagerly parted his own lips and kissed him back.

Robert's heart was pounding and his blood was racing as the kiss deepended and his fingers bunched around the fabric of the blue hoody Aaron was wearing, forcing him closer, creating a heat that sparked through both of them.

Aaron lifted his head and stared into Robert's eyes, a shy grin on his face that Robert masked. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either," Aaron said, unashamed. The pained look on his face from before was gone and had been replaced with a smile that looked so real, so genuine, it had Robert reaching for him again.

 _I think I'm in trouble,_ Robert thought as their lips met again. 

That moment was when Robert knew.

He was falling hard - and fast - for Aaron Dingle, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

And he wasn't sure he even wanted to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys deal differently with the way their first kiss ended.

Aaron woke up the next morning with a nasty hangover. The two empty bottles of whiskey beside his bed were an unwelcome reminder of why his head was pounding and felt sick to his stomach.

_Your own fault._

What the hell had made him drink so much?

Oh yeah, the phone call from that bitch reporter wanting his comment about the latest in a string of rumors around the entertainment world that he was fucking an actor, someone he despised.

Yeah, that had set him off like a bomb about to explode. After he had told her where she could shove her microphone, that's when he'd seen....

Robert.

But for the life of him he couldn't remember much about last night aside from that, only....

Oh shit.

_**Flashback**_

_Robert's mouth was on his, his tongue exploring and tasting, Aaron's rational thoughts all but disappeared as he lost himself in kiss after kiss. He had to put a stop to this, it wasn't right....but why the hell did it feel like it was?_

_It didn't matter. There was too much at stake, for both of them. This couldn't go any further. Reluctantly, Aaron put a hand against Robert's chest, pushing him away, knowing that if this kiss lasted another second he was going to say to the hell with it and drag Robert back into his arms._

_He wanted more, he wanted to finally let go and let himself be with someone again, to let himself fall._

_Hell, he was already halfway there._

_But his life, his past, was a burden he had to carry on his shoulders alone and he couldn't drag someone else into his crazy shit show. Especially someone with a child. No, as much as it killed him, he had to end this. It would hurt, God would it hurt, but he only had himself to blame for letting it get this far._

_"We can't do this," Aaron said, his lips swollen, his breathing uneven. He had to force the words out. It killed him to say them. He couldn't look Robert in the eye, he couldn't bear to see the hurt in those depths he fell for every single time he looked into them. "This was a mistake." Then Aaron ran._

_Just like he always did._

_**End of Flashback**_

Aaron winced against the bright light of the bathroom and clutched at his head. He felt and looked terrible, and as he staggered into the room, shut the door behind him, he slumped back against it. When Aaron's eyes finally adjusted to the light, he groaned.

He had caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror in the bathroom and grimaced. He looked and felt like utter shit. 

He rubbed his hands over his face and decided the hell with it, he had to face the world, so he got dressed and went downstairs in search of coffee. He was going to need caffeine, and a shit load of it, to get through today.

"You're up early," Adam said from the sofa.

Aaron rubbed his eyes. "The drumming in my head woke me up."

"Just drumming?" Adam raised an eyebrow. "With the amount of alcohol you consumed last night, I'm surprised you don't have a full-on marching band playing in there."

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Aaron went straight to the kitchen and frowned at the empty coffee pot. "Fuck me," he muttered. "I feel like shit." 

He blamed the whiskey.

And Robert.

Why the hell had he kissed Robert?

_Because you've wanted to since the moment you laid eyes on him._

Yeah, well that didn't make it any less stupid. Or reckless.

Unfortunately, he didn't have an answer to that particular question, but damn it if it hadn't felt unbelivable to finally have those lips on his. They had been just as soft and demanding as he had imagined they would be.

"I look like shit too," Aaron mumbled as he started the coffeepot. "Jesus, what was I thinking." He ran a hand through his messy hair. "I don't remember much from last night." Except kissing Robert. And not just once, not just twice. 

God, he could still taste Robert on his lips. He bit his lower lip. _Oh fuck, I'm screwed._

"I'm not surprised," Adam said. "What's the last thing you do remember?"

Aaron braced his hands on the counter and hung his head down. He couldn't admit to the only thing about last night he did remember, the one thing he wanted to relive again and again if only he wasn't a celebrity and his life could be kept private. But that wasn't his reality, so he had to face it; yesterday had been a mistake and he needed to forget about it. Only he couldn't. "I got a phone call from the tabloids," Aaron said with a snarl. "There's these rumors going around that I'm fucking Leo Peterson. After I told them to go fuck themselves, I left the pub. I think I came back here and drank myself stupid." _After I pushed Robert up against the wall and damn near lost my sanity while he kissed me._

"I found you passed out in your room when I came by this morning," Adam said. "I'd say with the amount of alcohol you consumed, they really pissed you off."

"Why the hell would I be fucking a loser like Leo Peterson? He's an asshole." Not just an asshole, but an arrogant one. And one of the highest-paid actors in the world. And they despised each other. The rumors were ridicolous and baseless and it had pissed him off more then he cared to admit. "I thought I would just have one or two, I mean how bad could it be?"

Adam clamped his lips together to keep from laughing, because Aaron drunk was just too damn funny and so rare these days.

"Oh god." Aaron covered his face in shame. "Please tell me I didn't do or say anything stupid when you got here."

Adam thought about playing with Aaron, but decided the guy looked miserable enough already. "You didn't say anything, though you kept muttering something in your sleep I couldn't understand."

Oh, God.

Aaron narrowed his eyes at the smirk on Adam's face. "Out with it. What did I say?"

" _Kiss me. Kiss me again._ " Adam couldn't contain his laughter any longer. He rested his hip against the kitchen counter and poured Aaron a cup of coffee since it seemed like his friend was incapable of doing it himself. "Here." He practically shoved the mug against Aaron's chest. "You look like you need it."

The expression on Aaron's face was pricess, Adam thought. The guy looked...embarrassed like he had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Who had Aaron been dreaming about? But Adam knew better then to pry into his best friend's love life. He had enough people in the outside world doing a bang up job of that already.

Aaron's face flamed red, but said nothing. He sipped his coffee and tried to avoid Adam's stare. He knew his friend was waiting for an explaination, but no way in hell was he going to offer one.

"You're kidding," Aaron said, covering his face when Adam just continued to smirk at him. It was the best response he could come up with.

"I'm not," Adam said.

"Fuck." Aaron frowned and Adam grinned. "I'm glad you think this is so funny."

"This is amusing, mate. I don't think I've seen you so worked up in a while. Whoever this guy is, he must be something special to make you dream about him."

Aaron panicked and tried to come up with a believable reason for the incoherent words he'd spoken in his sleep. "There's no one. It was just a dream. Maybe I just need to get laid."

Adam didn't buy it for one minute. He knew Aaron better than anyone. But Aaron had enough to deal with with agressive reporters on a daily basis because of who he was that Adam let it go. If and when Aaron was ready to open up, he would be there to listen.

"Drink up and let's get a move on. We have a lunch date with Vic and her brother."

The room start to spin again and Aaron thought he was going to pass out. He felt sick to his stomach as he faced the reality that he was going to have to face Robert. But how could he after the way he had run off and left with no explaination? Robert probably hated him now, and that was just something he was going to have to live with.

He was an actor; he would just pretend that the kiss meant nothing, that it had just been a one off, an impulse.

If he could portray a secret spy that saves the world, surely he could make Robert believe he felt nothing for him.

Right?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how does Robert deal with Aaron running away after their kiss and how do they work through it?

While Aaron drowned himself in alcohol, Robert spent the night buried in work while Mila slept upstairs, oblivious to the fact that her father had, just hours before, shared a passionate embrace with a man he shouldn't have even been with in the first place. He had a mountain of new contracts to review that Jimmy had sent over and emails to return, but his mind kept going back to that moment with Aaron outside the pub, away from prying eyes, where it had just been the two of them.

It wasn't until this morning that it had clicked for Robert why Aaron had been so distracted the day before.

It was all over the gossip rags.

_Hard to Love is already receiving rave reviews, but the talk that has people buzzing this morning isn't Aaron Dingle's latest film, which is also his directing debut, but his secret relationship with Russian actor Leo Peterson. Sources have leaked that the very public heated conversation the pair had outside a bar in London was just for a show, and that the couple is getting ready to break the news about their real relationship._

Robert couldn't blame Aaron for being pissed off about it and avoiding the press. There was no proof of a relationship that went above the animosity that was so evident on camera as far as Robert could tell based on the few articles online he'd skimmed through. There was no proof at all that this so called "secret" relationship existed. It appeared that Aaron was caught in the middle of another paparazzi storm, waiting silently for the rumors to die down or some other story to pique the interest of the public.

Aaron's life was devoid of any kind of privacy, and it was just another reason why Robert needed to keep his distance.

But the problem was the gravitational pull between them was just too hard to resist, and the kiss they'd shared outside the pub had Robert so close to letting his guard down and letting someone in that it scared the hell out of him.

It hadn't meant anything, that's what he had been trying to tell himself for the past twenty four hours. They had both just got caught up in the moment. It had been a one-off, and it would never happen again. Robert loved his life; it was safe and predictable, just the way he liked it. Getting tangled up with a man, especially a famous one like Aaron, spelled disaster. But he had felt the way his body had responded to Aaron's kiss, there was no denying that there was something there. 

As hard as he tried to forget about their kiss, there was the memory, in the back of his mind, taunting him. He had wanted to kiss Aaron from the moment they met, but he shouldn't have acted on it. It was impulse, nothing more. He had given into temptation, something he was now regretting. 

_Idiot,_ he chastised himself the next morning as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat at the kitchen table while Mila sat in her high chair throwing cheerios on the white marbled floor. When she threw one at his head, he laughed and leaned forward to ruffle her hair.

"Finish your breakfast, princess, then we have to go get ready. We're meeting Auntie Vic for lunch."

That earned a giggle out of Mila, before she threw more cheerios on the floor. Robert scooped Mila out of her high chair and carried her upstairs to get ready, but his mind was elsewhere, on a certain tempermental actor who, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get out of his head.

Aaron was jaw-droppingly handsome and as one of the country's most eligible bachelors, Aaron could have his pick of any man he wanted. He'd been an idiot to think for a second that he could even be on that list. A workaholic single dad with a young daughter. Yeah, that didn't exactly scream Aaron's type, if you believed what the tabloids wrote about him, anyway. But how much of that garbage was true?

Robert didn't buy any of it. The Aaron that he had seen with his own eyes was nothing like the self-centered, egotistical movie star he had read about. Aaron's charming personality, the side of him he rarely showed to the world, had been Robert's undoing. There was no going back to pretending that Aaron hadn't stirred something inside of him that had been buried since Angela's death.

Aaron was a man used to getting what - and who - he wanted. If he had wanted Robert, he wouldn't have let anything stop him. The sexual tension that had been sizzling between the two of them since their first meeting was there blazing in Aaron's blue eyes, and it threatened to change both of their lives.

And that, Robert knew, was why Aaron had done a runner.

Not because Aaron regretted their kiss, but because Aaron had been trying to protect him from the hollow, toxic world behind the glitz and the glam. He knew that if things went further between the two of them, he and Mila would be thrust into the spotlight whether they wanted to be or not. 

And he couldn't afford to let that happen just because of one kiss that hadn't meant anything.

It was a good thing that Aaron had halted the breaks, Robert told himself. 

But as he walked over to his sister's place with Mila's hand in his, Robert was struck by the unlikely revelation that he cared more about Aaron than he should, maybe was even beginning to fall in love with him and that lieing to himself wasn't going to change that.

The heat, the intensity, the passion. He'd felt it all in Aaron's kiss. Damn Aaron with his infectious, charming smile that had Robert's defenses crumbling from the very first moment.

Aaron was a problem.

A big fucking problem.

* * *

Aaron had been feeling on top of the world up until the rumors started spreading that he was involved with Leo Peterson. 

Aaron was still in a sour mood when they got to the restaurant. His phone hadn't stopped ringing all morning, the relentless tabloids reporters incessant in wanting a comment about the rumors that didn't appear to be going away any time soon.

He was trying to avoid the media until the whole thing blew over, but everyone was talking about it. About him.

If they didn't stop talking about it, he was going to scream. He had to make a statement. Hanging up on reporters who didn't know how to mind their own fucking business wasn't getting him anywhere. Leo, the bastard, was unreachable for comment. Aaron snorted. Apparently, he was somewhere in Africa shooting his next movie and couldn't be reached, so it looked like it was going to be on him to deny the ridicolous rumors swirling around about the two of them. 

Aaron sent a message to his agent to make a statement on his behalf, denying there was anything going on between him and Leo. Maybe after that they would leave him the hell alone. He would be back in London tomorrow for more promo shots and the last thing he wanted to deal with when he got there was more reporters hanging out the studio, flashing their cameras and shoving a microphone in front of his face.

Aaron struggled to shift his mind to something else, anything else. He pressed his fingers to his eyes and thanked god when the waitress stopped at their booth and poured him more coffee.

Adam watched Aaron swirl a spoon in his coffee cup. Aaron hadn't cracked a smile all morning and it was irritating him.

"Come on, Aaron," Adam said. "Lighten up. It's not like you haven't heard talk like this before. It's just speculation. You make a statement, deny everything, not bark at reporters. It just makes them want to harass you more to try and get a response out of ya."

Aaron cursed under his breath. "I don't fucking care. If I want to tell them to fuck off, I will. It's none of their business who I'm involved with anyway."

"You know that's not true," Adam said. "You're in the spotlight all the time, you know how it is. As long as you're making movies people are going to be interested in who you're dating, or in this case, not dating. You still have to make a statement. Right now it just looks like you're hiding something."

"I'm not," Aaron said. 

"You're not what?"

Whatever Aaron had been about to say left his mind the instant he saw the man standing behind Victoria. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that Robert hadn't cast some sort of spell on him, he proved himself wrong. Then his eyes landed on the little girl in his arms and the thudding inside his heart got louder. She looked just like her father, was Aaron's first thought.

"You're not what?" Victoria asked again.

"Nothing," Aaron mumbled. "Can we just drop it?" He shot a warning glance in Adam's direction. 

Victoria recognized the frustration in Aaron's tone and the heat in his eyes, so she let it go. After all, this was supposed to be a friendly lunch where she would introduce her boyfriend to her brother. "This is my brother, Robert," Victoria said. "And his daughter Mila."

"You look familiar," Adam said, getting up to shake his hand.

Robert put Mila in the highchair the waitress had brought over to the table and eyed her sister's new boyfriend suspiciously. He recognized him from his first run-in with Aaron. "You're Aaron's security guard."

"That's me." Adam laughed. "Now I know where I've seen you before. You were at the television studio the other day."

"Yeah," Robert said. "That was me." 

"Small world," Adam said, draping an arm around Victoria's shoulders when she slid into the booth next to him. "And I'm dating your sister."

"So it seems," Robert said, then he turned his head and his eyes locked with Aaron's. 

Aaron expected to see anger there, but there was none. Robert's face was emotionless. "Nice to see you again," Aaron said.

Robert's gaze lowered to Aaron's lips for a fraction of a second. God, he wished he could erase the way those lips had felt from his mind. "Yeah, you too." He'd grossly underestimated the impact that Aaron had on him. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Aaron, but he'd almost forgotten the way Aaron's voice made his body respond, like an inferno was licking through his veins. Aaron had a presence that Robert gravitated towards like a magnetic force.

Aaron could only stare at Robert, and that cool, judgmental stare of his. And he had no one to blame but himself for that look in his eyes.

Victoria frowned, confused.

"Aaron is MC'ing the event this year," Robert explained to his sister as he shifted his eyes away from the man he wished he could forget. 

"Let's order, I'm starving," Aaron said, hoping to change the subject.

Adam steered the conversation away from Aaron's career, knowing Aaron needed the break. 

Mila's cheeks were flushed with enthusiasm as she stuffed french fries in her mouth over lunch. Aaron watched in awe the way Robert brushed a stray blond hair away from her face. And with the way he lit up around his daughter, Aaron found himself falling even harder for the man he knew there wasn't a hope in hell that he was ever going to get out of his head.

Mila reached over and touched Aaron's cheek affectionately before handing him one of her last few french fries. Aaron swallowed the lump that had suddenly found its way into his throat. He couldn't speak; he didn't know how one little touch from a little girl he barely knew could affect him so much.

By the end of lunch, Mila had stolen a piece of Aaron's fractured heart. Her face was covered in ketchup and before Robert could grab a napkin to wipe it all off, she placed a loud, smacking kiss on Aaron's face. He smiled that famous smile of his that captivated fans young and old alike that deepened the dimple in his right cheek. 

"Cute," Mila said, pointing at him.

"Thanks, kid, you're not so bad yourself."

The corners of Aaron's mouth lifted in a resemblance of a grin that vanished as quickly as it appeared when Victoria turned to him and said, "I didn't know you had a thing for Russian men." Victoria held up her phone.

Aaron groaned. Another article, another photoshopped photograph of him and Leo Peterson. When was it going to end?

"Don't believe everything you read," Aaron snapped, his temper flaring. If one person mentioned Leo Peterson and those insane rumors, he was going to scream. 

"Vic," Adam warned her, but it was too late. Aaron had already grabbed his jacket and was sliding out of the booth. 

"Why are you getting so worked up about a silly little article?" Victoria said.

"Because they're everywhere," Aaron said, his temper rising. "Everywhere I look, there the bastard is in my face. We don't even like each other! I have to get out of here. I have a bunch of stuff to do before my flight to London in the morning."

"I'm sure it will die down soon," Victoria said. "They'll find someone else to spread rumors about that are just as ludicrous as this one. No one who really knows you believes it for a minute."

He heard the hushed whispers, seen the speculation behind the eyes. Everyone was wondering, was he or wasn't he screwing Leo Peterson.

He needed to get out of here.

"I'll see you at the airport tomorrow," Aaron said to Adam. "At this rate I'm going to need extra security."

Then he was gone.

* * *

Aaron was pacing, long, furious strides, up and down the narrow street when Robert caught up to him. Victoria and Adam had offered to take Mila for the afternoon so he was free to finish his work before their flight back to London.

"Vic never knows when to let something go," Robert said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

"It's no big deal," Aaron said, though his face said otherwise. "I just get tired of hearing the same story over and over again."

"I guess it's all part of the industry you're in," Robert said. "But I can see how it can get irritating."

"That's one word for it," Aaron muttered under his breath. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, running off like that, I---"

"It's fine," Robert said. "I know it was just a heat of the moment thing, that it didn't mean anything. You don't have to explain."

Aaron looked up and met Robert's eyes. "But that's the thing though, it did mean something, but I ran away because I was scared. Realistically I know that nothing can ever happen between us. We have to keep our relationship on a professional level. As much as I want.... I care about you, Robert, probably more than I should. You have a child and I don't exactly have a simple, uncomplicated life. I'm not going to throw you and your daughter into the middle of that kind of shit storm that I deal with on a daily basis."

Robert couldn't take his eyes away from the navy blue jacket that framed his broad shoulders and emphasized the darkness of his hair. Robert longed to run his hands through it. He looked sharp, controlled, and far too dangerous. Robert knew he should turn around and walk away, that the man who had been pissed off a minute ago who was now looking at him with an expression so unreadable it scared the hell out of him, would bring him nothing but heart ache and complications. But that didn't stop him from wanting Aaron, from wanting to see where this could go, he doubted anything would.

"I'm curious," Robert said, taking a step closer to Aaron against his better judgment, "if I told you that I've felt an attraction to you since the moment we met, if you would change your mind, if you would take a chance on me, on us."

Aaron swallowed and tried to step back, to put some distance between them. If Robert got any closer, he was going to say to the hell with it and grab Robert by his leather jacket. There was something about Robert that made him feel alive, when he'd felt dead inside for the last eight years.

Aaron felt his lips curve, he couldn't help it. Without even trying, Robert made him smile, despite the fact that he felt like his world was crumbling down around him. "I guess we'll never know."

"Won't we?" Robert murmured, and stepped even closer until their bodies were touching. "Kiss me and find out. See if I care that you live your life under a microscope. Come on, do it. I dare you. See if I run."

Never one to back away from a dare, Aaron grabbed the back of Robert's neck and pulled him close.

"Well?" Robert's breath was hot against his ear.

"I think we're both crazy," Aaron said. 

"Aaron?"

Aaron bit his lip. All of a sudden he couldn't remember why this was a bad idea. "Yeah?"

Robert gripped Aaron's waist, and watched as Aaron let down his barriers. "I won't be mad if you say this is a bad idea and we should just keep our relationship on a professional level, if it's what you want."

"I'm not sleeping with him," Aaron said.

"I know that. You think I would be here right now if I thought you were?"

A knot of need twisted inside Aaron at the absolute trust in Robert's voice. "I've been okay with being on my own since Michael died. I'm ashamed to say that I've had my fair share of one night stands to fill the need for sex. But that's not what this is. With you, it feels different but I don't want to force you into something you're not ready for."

"I haven't felt this instant connection with anyone since my wife died," Robert said. "I don't know what it is, but there's just something about you. I don't care about what you do for a living or how much money you have or how hard this will be. I just know I want to try."

"Me too," Aaron murmured, before he finally closed the last remaining distance between them and crushed their mouths together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron's past comes back to haunt him just as he realizes he's in love with Robert.

If someone had told Robert even a week ago that he would be secretly dating a movie star, he would have laughed and called them crazy. But here he was, Robert Sugden, single father, casually dating Aaron Dingle, a-lister and one of the most eligible bachelors in the country.

It felt like he was living in a dream, one that he didn't want to wake up from. Ever.

They barely saw each other over the next week. Aaron spent most of his days at the studio while Robert was working overtime putting together the final preparations for the charity event which was now only a week away and there was still so much to do. Then there was all of the paperwork that needed to be done for the haulage business. And then there was Mila, his number one priority who he loved to pieces but constantly liked to test his patience. Robert rarely had a second to spare. It had been hard for them to find time for each other, but they still managed to video chat and talk on the phone nearly every night after Mila went to bed. As tired as they both were each night, they both looked forward to laying in bed talking to each other about anything and everything until they fell asleep.

While the whole world was still convinced Aaron was having a torrid affair with a cold, bad tampered and rude Russian actor, he was in fact, for the first time in eight years, falling in love. He was falling headfirst in love with Robert and it was too late to stop it. Falling in love with a single father of the most adorable little girl he had ever laid his eyes on had never been part of Aaron's plan, but here he was, Aaron Dingle, proclaimed bachelor who didn't believe in love or commitment, in love. It still didn't feel real.

The media frenzy revolving around Aaron's supposed romance with Leo Peterson hadn't died down as he had hoped it would and reporters were constantly parked outside Aaron's flat. He didn't want to subject Robert, or Mila, to that so Aaron dawned disguises when the situation called for it, like the day before when he and Robert had taken Mila to the zoo. His disguise had managed to thwart any media from following them. Aaron couldn't remember having such a good time. They walked around the zoo, Mila bursting with excitement every time she saw a new animal. Robert bought her popcorn and cotton candy, after which she had covered Aaron's face in sloppy kisses. Robert had grinned at him when the pink sticky mess stuck to his cheek. Later that night, Aaron had snuck back over to Robert's on an impulse and let Robert know, with actions not words, just how much fun he had and how much he wanted other days just like this one.

Days like that, where Aaron felt so carefree and happy, were rare for him and only made him want them to be a permanent part of his everyday life.

Especially on days like today when everything was going to shit.

He'd been in his trailer after another long day of filiming when he'd been told Marcus, the producer, wanted to see him on set. That wasn't a good sign. A headache was already brewing behind his eyes and he had a bad feeling it was only going to get worse when he went to the set. The rumors going around that his co-star had just been arrested for public intoxication were true and he would have to be replaced in the film. That had meant more money, more time that they really didn't have, screen test after screen test with different actors, publicity shots....the list went on.

A sinking feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he made his way back to the set, which only intensified when he opened the doors and saw who was there.

* * *

The lies Leo Peterson had been spinning about Aaron were threatening to ruin Aaron's career, not to mention his relationship with Robert.

Robert had become his reprieve from the media circus and offered him a little normalcy that he hadn't realized he needed. He could be himself with Robert, he didn't have to pretend to be someone else. Even when they were just talking on the phone, Robert made him smile. And he adored Mila, and she seemed to feel the same way about him. Every time he was around her, she exuded pure joy and it made him want to smile, to laugh, to just be himself.

He wanted forever with Robert. How had they only met a few weeks ago?

He wanted the sleepless nights with a toddler, the family movie nights, the mornings sitting around the kitchen table eating breakfast and drinking coffee together. He wanted to come home at the end of a busy day at the studio and fall into Robert's arms. He wanted to tuck Mila into bed and read her bedtime stories. He wanted to show Robert off, to hold his hand when he walked the red carpet. He wanted a partner for life, a husband, a daughter.

He wanted it all.

Now it was all being threatened to be taken away from him because of the man sitting in _his_ chair holding a script in his hand and flashing a grin that had Aaron clenching his teeth.

Leo fucking Peterson.

"Dingle," Leo said in his famous Russian accent. He wore a suit that matched the color of his smokey grey eyes. "Surprised to see me?"

"Aaron," Marco, the producer of the film, came up to greet him. "I tried to reach you to tell you the news."

"And what news is that?" Like he didn't already know.

"Meet your new co-star," Leo said before Marcus could. 

The guilty look on Marcus' face said it all.

"You have got to be shitting me," Aaron said. 

The smug grin on Leo's face was unmistakable. "Try to keep it in your pants, Dingle. At least while we're on set."

Leo may have been able to fool the rest of the world with his charm, but it wasn't going to work on Aaron. He had seen right through Leo trademark charm the first moment he'd laid eyes on the man at their first screen test together, and that had been three years ago. Luckily, Leo hadn't gotten the part to play opposite him and he'd been lucky up until now not having to work with the bastard.

"Oh trust me, that won't be a problem since I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole," Aaron said.

Leo smirked. "What did you call me in that last interview you gave? Oh, that's right. Rude, obnoxious, full of himself actor who lacks acting skills. Well pretty boy, you're about to find out just how fucking wrong you are about me. When we're done, you're going to give an interview retracting everything you said about me. No one fucks with my career, Dingle."

Aaron felt like he was going to be sick. It didn't help the overpowering scent of Leo's cologne was enough to make anyone gag. "This can't be happening," he said before he turned to Marcus. "You can't seriously be telling me you've hired _him_."

"You saw the other screen tests, Aaron," Marcus said. "They were all terrible. Leo was the best. I know the two of you don't get along, but..."

"Don't get along?" Aaron scoffed. "He's an asshole and the whole world still thinks I'm sleeping with him!"

"Exactly," Marcus said. "Just think of the publicity we can get for the film. People are going to want to come see it just to see the chemistry between the two of you."

 _Shit,_ Aaron thought as heat rised into his cheeks. They were running out of time to find a replacement and Leo _was good_ , his screen test had been the best but still...it was fucking Leo Peterson, the man Aaron despised more than anyone. Well, except for his father, but that was a whole other story.

"You know I'm right," Marcus continued, ignoring Aaron's scowl. 

Aaron cursed under his breath. "I don't like this." But he was devoted to this film, and nothing - not even Leo fucking Peterson - was going to stand in his way of making it a success. So he would put on a smile, do his job, then move on to the next project. He could put up with the guy for a few months without strangling him, right?

_Fucking hell._

He didn't want to have a reputation for being difficult on set, that would only limit his options for future roles. And it wasn't like he had to like the guy, he just had to tolerate him for a few months. They were both professional, surely the two of them could put their personal opinions of each other aside for the time being. After the movie was finished, they could go back to hating each other.

But honestly, the thought of having to kiss the jerk made Aaron cringe.

God, he really did not like this guy.

And he knew the feeling was mutual.

* * *

Aaron's day went from bad to worse when his mum called later that night just as he was getting home from the studio.

"Hey, Aaron. Glad I caught you. Can you talk for a minute?"

His mum's grave tone had Aaron shutting the fridge and leaning against the counter. After spending _hours_ with Leo doing a few run-throughs of their first few scenes together which they would be filming in a few days, Aaron had longed for a cold beer and his bed. 

And maybe a late night conversation with his favorite blond.

The run-throughs had gone well and even Aaron had to admit Leo was perfect for the role. But there was still a niggling voice in the back of his head that reminded him this was still Leo fucking Peterson and they still despised the fuck out of each other.

It was so unlike his mum to be so serious, and it was making the hair on the back of Aaron's neck rise.

"Yeah, I have some time. What's going on?"

Chas paused and Aaron waited. "I'm calling about Gordon."

At the mention of his father's name, Aaron stiffened. He hadn't seen the bastard in nearly two years, and he wanted to keep it that way. That part of his life, his old life, was better left buried.

"I don't want to talk about Gordon," Aaron said. "He can go fuck himself."

"Aaron, he was found dead this afternoon in his cell. Beaten by another inmate, apparently."

Aaron let the words his mum had just said sink in, and when they finally penetrated the shock that had just enveloped him, he said, "Dead? Gordon's dead?"

"Yeah. Love, I know there's no love lost between the two of you."

Aaron snorted at that. Was his mum serious? The bastard had only raped him repeatedly during his childhood before he'd finally manned up and gone to the cops. He wasn't going to let any other kid go through what he did. Gordon needed to get off the streets and put behind bars where he belonged. It hadn't been an easy road, but when the judge read the guilty verdict to the court, Aaron had sobbed. He thought after that day he could finally move on with his life, to start the healing process, but it hadn't been that easy.

"Mum, I have to go." Truth was, he didn't want to talk about Gordon. And maybe it made him heartless, but he was glad the bastard was dead. "I have an early call in the morning. Thank for letting me know about Gordon."

"I'm here, Love. If you ever need to talk, you know that. I know this is...unsettling news, but I wanted to be the one to tell you."

"I know, thanks, mum. I'll be in touch okay? When things quiet down here."

"I love you, son," Chas said before she ended the call.

 _Dead._ Gordon was dead. Fuck, that was weird, Aaron thought. Aaron waited for some kind of emotion to flood him - anger, sadness, guilt - but nothing came. Instead, he just felt numb. He looked out to his living room, spotted the bottle of whiskey on the table, made his way over to it, and unscrewed the bottle. He brought the bottle to his lips, took a nice, long swig, and enjoyed the burn the liquor made down his throat, as he waited for some kind of feeling to find him as the memory of the last time he'd stared into Gordon's cold and calculating eyes overtook him...

_Flashback - 2 years ago_

The sound of the iron bars clicking behind him was a sound Aaron was eager to leave behind, after his final face-to-face with his father.

Gordon. He wasn't Aaron's father. 

For far too long he had called Gordon his father when he'd been anything but. A father didn't belt you when he'd had too much to drink. He didn't belittle you, call you hurtful names. He didn't lock you in your room with no food when you misbehaved.

A father didn't rape you repeatedly.

But back then he had been too young, too caught up in the vicious cycle to do anything about it. He had felt nothing but pain, cold, numbing pain. 

Then he had found Michael and suddenly being a victim of rape didn't make him feel so broken, so worthless.

But Michael was dead now, and had been for six years. Yeah, he had a booming movie career, but without Michael he once again felt broken and useless. God, he missed Michael. It never got easier, it never stopped hurting knowing that Michael's life have been cut short. He was on his own now, and he still struggled every day just to get through. Drinking helped ease the pain, but Aaron knew it wasn't a solution and he couldn't keep turning to the bottle if he wanted to stay on top.

When he reached the sign in desk, an officer thrust a clipboard in his direction, and Aaron signed his name before handing over his identification. Once he was cleared, he made his way to the booth the guard directed him to, and took a seat as Gordon was ushered into the room behind the soundproof barrier, and then shoved down into the seat opposite him.

He looked like shit - not that Aaron had expected such else, considering he was a convicted rapist in one of the most violent prisons in the UK. His head was shaved, he had a scar above his right eye, and he looked pale. He looked nothing like the intimidating man Aaron had remembered.

As the guard walked off, leaving them alone, Aaron reached for the phone.

Gordon did the same. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Yeah, that seemed about right. No greeting. No acknowledgment of any kind. Just straight to the point. No apology, no nothing. It made Aaron sick to his stomach. 

"Just thought I'd come to tell you face to face to leave me the fuck alone. Stop sending me letters, stop trying to get me to forgive you, it's never going to happen."

Gordon stared at him through the grimy barrier but said nothing.

Not about to be intimidated by a sickly old man who couldn't do shit to hurt him anymore, Aaron kept going. "I'm serious, this ends now. You understand me?"

Gordon's eyes narrowed as he looked Aaron up and down. His expression made Aaron's skin crawl. For years he'd done what he was told, put up with the abuse time and time again because Gordon had told him if he so much as said a word he would wind up dead. But as Aaron stared at the frail fucker on the other side of the security barrier, he wondered why it had taken him so long to come forward.

Gordon was locked up, had been sentenced to twenty years in prison. He would never have control over him again, so why did he continue to let Gordon manipulate him?

"I understand you," Gordon all but spat into the phone. His face remained impassive, impossibly cold, like a corpse. "You disappoint me, son. You always have."

"Don't call me that," Aaron snarled. "You lost the right to call me that when you abused me." Aaron ground his back teeth as he shoved his chair back and got to his feet. "And you think I'm a disappointment? You're fucking hilarious. Look where you are. And you're not getting out for a long time."

Gordon said nothing, just stared, and Aaron wished he had the ability to be that emotionless. Maybe then he wouldn't keep coming back to this place.

"The man that you're still pining away for, he's dead," Gordon said. "He died because he couldn't wait to get away from you."

Of all the things that Gordon could have said, that was the one that had Aaron's blood running cold. The hatred that spewed out of Gordon's mouth was disgusting, and made him sick to his stomach.

Gordon's eyes darkened with a sick kind of joy, and Aaron felt a shudder raced up his spine.

"Don't you dare talk about him," Aaron growled. "You don't know anything about it."

"I know your boyfriend was high on drugs when his car spun out of control," Gordon said. "I have eyes and ears everywhere. You can't hide anything from me, son. And you might think you can get rid of me, but you can't. Just remember that."

Aaron swallowed, understanding the threat for what it was, and as Gordon got to his feet, Aaron lunged at the barrier. 

"I hate you."

Gordon's lips curved into a sadistic smile. "The feeling is mutual."

_End of Flashback_

The incessant vibrating of his phone brought Aaron back to the present. Aaron reached for his phone on the table and squinted at the screen. He already felt the buzz from the whiskey and was feeling a little wobbly on his feet.

When the familiar name popped on the screen, he laid back on the couch and rested his forearm over his eyes. "Hey," he said. 

"Hey yourself. How was your day?"

Aaron thought about lying, but found himself wanting to open up, to share his burdens with someone he could trust. "Terrible."

"What happened?" The worry was evident in the voice on the other end of the line.

"You'll never guess who they hired to replace Joseph," Aaron said.

"Based on your tone, I'm going to take a wild guess and say Leo Peterson. Please tell me I'm way off."

"You're not way off," Aaron said. "It's true. It'll be all over the news by morning. Can you fucking believe it?"

"I'm sorry. I know how much you don't like the guy."

"That's an understatement," Aaron said dryly. He paused. "But that's not all."

"What else happened?"

Aaron took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let it out. "It's my father. He's dead."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron wakes up the next morning at Robert's after showing up the night before drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled the last few weeks about whether to continue this story so to read all the comments was amazing, thank you :)

When Aaron opened his eyes the next morning, there was a loud pounding going on inside his head, and the bright lights streaming through the windows in a room he didn't recognize only made it throb more.

Aaron clutched the side of his head and groaned.

"I was wondering when you would wake up."

At the sound of the familiar voice, Aaron turned, and his eyes landed on Robert, who was sitting across from him in a leather recliner. 

_Oh, fuck._

As the night before came back to him with blinding force, Aaron winced. He remembered the phone call from his mum, and the news about Gordon. Then Robert had called and...

After that, he didn't remember a hell of a lot. But somehow he'd ended up here, at Robert's flat.

 _Fuck._ Had he shown up unannounced? God, Aaron could only imagine what Robert thought about him now. He was probably ready to stall the breaks, put an end to this casual fling they were having. He had a child after all, he couldn't afford to become involved with a mess like him.

Aaron could hardly blame him.

"How's your head?" Robert said as he got to his feet. As Aaron followed the move, he swore his head might roll off his damn shoulders, but he tried for a smile, which came off looking more like a grimace. 

"Painful?" Robert guessed when Aaron just stared at him. "I can only imagine. You passed out pretty hard last night." The sexy, devlilish smirk had Aaron really wishing he hadn't gotten drunk last night.

 _Shit,_ Aaron thought. _Way to make an impression, Aaron. Passing out drunk on his fucking couch, really? Idiot._

"Yeah," Aaron said. "Sorry, I..."

"You don't have to apologize," Robert said. "I understand. You're going through a lot right now." Robert walked around the coffee table that sat between them and stopped in front of Aaron. "You want some coffee?"

Aaron would have sold his soul for a cup of coffee right now. "Yeah, thanks."

"It's still early, and there's a bathroom just down the hall to your left if you want to take a shower."

Aaron reached for Robert's hand and tugged him closer. He needed to explain what had happened to him last night, but he knew he couldn't without telling Robert the truth about his father, what he'd been through, how his father had raped him. And knowing that once he told Robert everything that Robert would probably walk away from him, had Aaron seriously questioning what he was about to do.

"I shouldn't have come here last night, not with the state I was in." Aaron paused for a moment and swallowed the lump in the back of his throat. "But I wanted to come here....to be honest with you because you matter so much to me."

Robert studied Aaron closely and tightened his fingers around Aaron's. "Hey," he said softly, cupping Aaron's cheek in his hand. "I'm glad you came here. I'm glad you didn't go somewhere else."

With their hands linked and their eyes connected, Aaron felt more vulnerable in that moment that he'd ever felt with anyone in his entire life. He felt cut open, raw, and Robert had barely said a word. 

Robert released his hold on Aaron and started to walk towards the kitchen. When he turned back around, he said, "don't disappear on me, okay? We need to talk some more."

Aaron nodded, and when Robert disappeared around the corner, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Aaron ran a hand through his hair, then started down the hall to find the bathroom.

God, had last night really happened? Aaron wondered. He still couldn't believe that Gordon was gone, that he was....dead. It was almost surreal, because while he had spent years trying to block Gordon from his mind, he knew he was still there. Still locked up, rotting away in a prison cell, but there was always that fear in his gut that Gordon would find a way to break free and come after him again. Gordon's abuse was a permanent scar, something he was never going to be able to forget.

But now, he could finally break the chains, and that's why he had gotten so drunk last night. He had been celebrating. Celebrating his freedom. The freedom to finally be able to breathe for the first time in years.

Aaron stepped inside the bathroom and flicked on the light, got a good look at himself in the mirror, and groaned.

He looked like shit.

How the hell was he ever going to replace the image of himself that Robert now saw in his eyes? Had he just gone and ruined everything?

As he turned on the spray and stepped underneath it and let it wash over him, Aaron was plagued with flashbacks of the unpleasant memories that Gordon's abuse had left. There were scars on his chest and arms from his attempts at trying to take his own life, of cutting himself to try and cope with the intense anger and emotional pain he felt. The scars had slowly started to fade over time, but they were still visible, a constant reminder of what he'd been through. But it was the scars on his heart that would remain there forever, a reminder that he was the victim of sexual abuse. But as the hot water cascaded over his skin, he could slowly start to feel his heart, that had once been shattered by the man who had raised him, start to heal.

Maybe it was time to let the past go, Aaron thought as he heard the laughter down the hall. Mila was up and demanding that Robert make her pancakes because "she was the princess".

He had spent years questioning himself, the self doubt always winning out, but today, today was the start of a whole new chapter of his life.

He deserved to be happy, Aaron thought, not stuck in a past he couldn't change.

And that laughter he heard? He wanted to be a part of that, for every day of his life.

And as he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel off the rack to dry his hair, he realized he didn't want to waste another second of his life being the victim.

He was ready to reclaim his life, and the life he wanted, the one he was ready to grab onto and never let go, was right outside the door.

* * *

When Aaron walked into the kitchen twenty minutes later, warm and dry in a white sweater and jeans, Robert had a hot cup of coffee waiting for him.

"Aro!" Mila squealed as soon as she saw him. "Daddy makes the best pancakes," she said, before shoving another forkful in her mouth.

The big, family style kitchen was all white. White cabinets, white speckled marble countertops. The fridge was covered with photos and drawings Mila had made, attached to multi colored magnets. Aaron particularly liked the drawing of what Aaron guessed was of Robert and Mila with Mila holding a red balloon and Robert holding a picnic basket.

"I like your drawings," Aaron said as he took the mug Robert held out to him. "Thanks," he said quietly.

Robert's eyes were both curious and compassionate. "You're welcome. I'll fix you a plate."

Aaron wanted to bury his face in that neck and breathe him in, and thank him properly for letting him stay, for being there, but Robert had already turned his back to grab a plate.

"I like to draw me and my dad," Mila said proudly. 

"I can see why," Aaron said as he sat at the circular glass table beside Mila. When Robert put a plate of steaming hot pancakes in front of him, he groaned. "These smell delicious."

"Daddy, sit," Mila said, turning to her father who had a hip perched against the counter with a steaming hot mug in his hands. He hadn't said much since Aaron had walked into the kitchen. He'd been too busy trying not to imagine Aaron in his bathroom. Naked. In the shower.

Robert grinned and did as he was told. "Yes, boss."

He still couldn't believe what had happened last night when Aaron had showed up at his front door. Thank God Mila had been upstairs fast asleep.

Talk about being thrown for a loop, Robert thought. When Robert had opened the door and had seen Aaron standing there, his hair slick from the rain, the way his black hoody clung to his body and the way those jeans hugged those narrow hips, a lot of dirty thoughts had raced through his head, but they had quickly disappeared when he had smelled the alcohol on Aaron's breath.

The man that had walked in wasn't the confidant man that Robert had come to know, but a vulnerable, drunk man who passed out on his couch.

Aaron had needed him last night, and the fact that Aaron had wound up on his doorstep had a thousand different emotions he hadn't expected rising to the surface.

He had known this was going to happen. They weren't taking things slow like they had agreed to. Aaron had spent the night at his house, yeah maybe not in his bed but even he knew it was only a matter of time before Robert invited him there. And after last night, the way Aaron had opened up to him, yeah okay Aaron had been drunk but still. 

Robert had learned things about Aaron's past last night that he hadn't been ready to hear. But it hadn't changed a thing. He knew how he felt, and last night only intensified those feelings. His heart broke for the little boy Aaron had been, whose innocence had been stolen from him by the man that should have protected him. Robert had desperately wanted to pull Aaron into his arms, but before he could, Aaron had passed out on the couch and then Robert had gone up to bed, only to lay awake for hours plagued by what Aaron had told him and the protectiveness that Robert had felt towards him that should have scared him but didn't.

Casual fling? No, they were way past that now.


	10. Chapter 10

_"My father died tonight," Aaron said when Robert opened up his front door to find Aaron on the other side, leaning against the wall. "That's something worth celebrating."_

_"That's what you said on the phone, right before you hung up on me," Robert said. "I'm kind of surprised to see you. It's past midnight, you know."_

_"Do you want me to leave?"_

_Considering the grave news, Aaron didn't appear to be upset or distraught. In fact, he looked elated. And drunk._

_"Come in," Robert said, grabbing Aaron by his hoody and ushering him inside out of the rain. "You'll catch your death out there."_

_Aaron tried to focus on Robert, but everything was blurry. He pulled the half empty bottle of whiskey from his jacket pocket and unscrewed the cap. "No one cared for a long time. They didn't care what he did to me."_

_Robert had no idea what Aaron was talking about it, but as soon as he saw the lone tear fall down Aaron's cheek, Robert reached out and wiped it away._

_"Hey, what's going on? I've never seen you like this before. Talk to me. Tell me what happened."_

_Aaron looked like he was lost in an old memory, a very unpleasant one. "I've spent years trying to forget what he did to me." Aaron frowned. "My own father is dead and I'm so fucking happy that he is. What type of person does that make me?"_

_Robert dragged Aaron over to the couch and pushed him down into it. "Then he took the bottle of whiskey from Aaron's hands before he could down any more of it. "Did you and your father not get along?"_

_Aaron snorted. "You don't want to know what he did to me. It's horrific. It'll just make you do a runner. You'll never want to see me again."_

_Robert didn't think there was anything Aaron could say to him that would scare him off now. He was already in too deep."Nothing you could possibly say is going to make me want to run from you, from us," Robert said. Trying to lighten the mood, he said, "unless you're going to tell me you were the one that killed him." Robert sat on the coffee table opposite the couch and reached for Aaron's hands and interlaced their fingers._

_Aaron looked down at their joined hands and shook his head. "No, but trust me I thought about it over the years. But I'm a fucking coward. Always have been, always will be."_

_"Don't talk like that."_

_"Why? It's true." Aaron leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes and waited for the room to stop spinning. He opened his eyes a fraction and took a deep breath. Here we go, he thought. What he was about to say could change the course of their relationship. Hell, Robert would probably never want to touch or kiss him again. And Aaron wouldn't blame him one bit._

_"Aaron?" Robert's soft voice broke through the inner battle Aaron was having. "Talk to me. I want to help you, but I can't if you don't talk to me."_

_There was so much about his past that was dark, parts Aaron wished he could keep hidden forever. But that wasn't an option, not if he wanted to finally be free. "My dad raped me."_

_Robert's chest tightened as the words left Aaron's mouth. Robert tried to comprehend what he was hearing. It was so horrific, so unbelievable, but Robert knew Aaron wouldn't make this up. It wasn't in his character. "Aaron, I'm sorry."_

_He didn't know what else to say in the face of such vulnerability. When Aaron's hand relaxed in his and his breathing turned even, Robert realized he was asleep._

* * *

There was so much about Aaron that Robert didn't know, but the more time they spent together the more Robert began to understand him, to love him. But last night's revelations changed something between them. Robert felt a strong need to protet Aaron, and that thought alone scared the hell out of him.

"I have to drop Mila off at school," Robert said as he finished washing the dishes and dried his hands. "I thought after that we could talk."

"I have to be at the studio in a few hours," Aaron said as he shrugged into his hoody and zipped it up. "Look, I'm sorry about last night. I hope I didn't fuck anything up and give Mila the wrong idea."

"She's three, Aaron," Robert said. "I explained to her that we were working together and that I invited you over for breakfast. To be honest, she was thrilled to see you. She's kind of taken a shine to you in case you haven't noticed."

"And I really like her too," Aaron said. He frowned. "I shouldn't have shown up here drunk last night. I didn't know where else to go, and honestly I don't remember a lot of what happened after I showed up here."

"We need to talk about it."

"Later yeah?"

"Aaron..."

"Rob, I need to get my head together. I have a splitting headache and I have to be on set in two hours. I need to get home. I promise we'll talk about this later." 

Before Aaron could get away, Robert tugged on Aaron's hand, pulling them close together. "You can trust me, you know that right?"

Aaron took in an unsteady breath, and this close, Robert could see his eyes darken as the desire that had always been between them roared back to life. 

"Yeah I do," Aaron murmured. He lowered his eyes, his shy smile making an appearance. "I trust you, Rob. More than I've trusted anyone in a long time."

"Good." Robert pulled Aaron closer so he was between his legs. right where he wanted him.

"I want you to know me," Aaron said, reaching up and wound his arms around Robert's neck. "The real me. I don't open up easily to anyone. I have enough people judging me. I'm not proud of my past, things that I've done. I guess I'm just scared that once you see that part of me that you'll leave."

"You've got me. I'm not going anywhere." To prove his point, Robert leaned forward and kissed him, tantalizingly slow until they were both out of breath. "We've all done things we're not proud of, it makes us human. Don't be scared to tell me anything. Nothing you say is going to scare me off. And I know you don't remember last night, but I told you that then, too. And I meant it then like I mean it now. Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here ready to listen."

"Thank you."

"I have a couple of meetings after I drop Mila off with the caterer then the photographer. You and I need to sit down and go through the final preparations for the event. Unless you're backing out now because of last night."

"I'm not backing out," Aaron said. "Trust me, Robert. Last night was just a one off. I promise you, I'm fine. I'll text you later."

One thing was for sure: Aaron had no memory of telling Robert about his dad's abuse, and he had no idea how to approach the subject without putting Aaron on guard. Robert didn't want to scare him off, to make Aaron feel like he had to close himself off again, because Robert knew what Aaron did when shit go real - he vanished.

* * *

It was pretty fucked up, Aaron decided, that he'd turned to the bottom of a bottle to celebrate his father's demise. Even more fucked up that he had ended up at Robert's place completely smashed and said god know's what. And if the way Robert kept looking at him this morning was any indication, he had a sinking feeling that he had revealed something he shouldn't have.

What had he said that had made Robert stop looking at him like a man he desired and instead like he was a wounded puppy?

He wouldn't have said anything about Gordon, no way. He never talked to anyone about Gordon to anyone outside of his immediate family; he was too ashamed. He hadn't opened up to anyone about his abuse and the criminal trial he'd had to endure that eventually put Gordon behind bars since Michael. As scary as it had been to open up to Michael, it had finally set him free. But then Michael had died and he'd closed himself off again. That was just how he coped with trauma. He'd felt vulnerable, powerless, victimized, the same way he'd felt when Gordon had scared him into believing that if he said a word to anyone about what he had done he would end up dead.

Gordon had been right; he did blame himself for Michael's death. Even after all these years, he still felt responsible even though it had been Michael who had pumped himself full of illegal drugs, and Michael who had gotten behind the wheel.

It had taken years of therapy for him to finally let go of all of the guilt. But he was finally in a good place and everything was threatening to fall apart again.

Even from beyond the grave Gordon was screwing with him, making his life a miserable hell.

It wasn't his fault that Michael had died, just like it wasn't his fault that his dad had raped him, but that didn't stop him from blaming himself, from turning to the bottle when it got to be too much.

God, he'd been such a fucking idiot for going over to Robert's last night. What the hell had he been thinking? Now he'd gone and messed everything up, just when he had finally found a little shred of happiness.

Even though he knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn't walk away from Robert. He was already in too deep.

As he opened the door to his trailer, his fingers froze on the knob as a memory from last night trickled to the surface. Once inside, he leaned against the back of the door and shut his eyes, took a deep breath and breathed through his nose, a coping mechanism his therapist had taught him, praying that what he remembered hadn't actually happened. The terror came quickly as the memory flashes came back full force.

_"My dad raped me."_


	11. Chapter 11

Leo was cracking jokes with some of the crew when Aaron emerged from his trailer, ready to start filming.

"Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence," Leo said with a smirk, a cigarette clamped between his teeth. 

Aaron rolled his eyes but bit his tongue on the retorts. "Let's just get to work and keep your thoughts to yourself."

"Aren't we touchy this morning?"

"Yeah well it's been a shit morning so far, so let's just get on with it."

"Fine by me, pretty boy."

"And stop calling me that."

"Why? The press like it." Leo took another drag of his cigarette, enjoying himself immensely at how uncomfortable he was making Aaron. "Did you see the latest magazine article? Apparently, we're tearing up the sheets in between takes." Leo always went after what he wanted, and what he wanted was the man currently snarling at him. But wanting this guy was stupid in every way. They despised each other, or they were supposed to, but Leo wanted him and he would do whatever he had to do to have him. This is why he had jumped at the chance to take over this role because it meant he had multiple chances to change Aaron's mind about him.

And get him into his bed. That he couldn't wait for.

Yeah, this was going to work out just fine. But first, he had to convince Aaron he wasn't the asshole Aaron thought he was.

Aaron had seen the latest buzz going around about the two of them, and it was just another reason for his shitty mood. He was used to untrue rumors being spread about him, but this time it didn't just affect him, but someone else in his life, someone that he cared about. He had texted Robert as soon as he had seen the pictures splashed on the front page, letting him know that the speculation was only going to get worse as time went on and that if he wanted to end things he would understand. Robert had assured him that the article didn't bother him, and he seemed unfazed by it all but it was hard to tell through a string of text messages, but Aaron had a feeling that Robert was just covering up how he really felt about it.

Leo took a moment to admire the way Aaron moved towards him, even if he was pissed off.

Aaron stopped in front of Leo and got in his face. It was a pity, Leo thought, that Aaron would probably punch his lights out if he tried to kiss that scowl off his face.

Aaron didn't like the way Leo was looking at him, and then when Leo licked his lips, Aaron got right up into his face. "Stop that," Aaron warned him.

"Stop what?" Leo said innocently.

"Looking at me like that. God, you're so inappropriate."

"Ah yes, it's a curse."

"So I've noticed."

That response intrigued Leo. "What else have you noticed about me?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Aaron muttered. "The only thing I notice about you is all of your unflattering traits, and there's quite a few."

"Keep telling yourself that." And with that, Leo picked up his script and winked at Aaron. Aaron rolled his eyes at the arrogant move. "Let's forget our little game for now and get to work."

Leo had ambition, Aaron had to give him that, and he was...okay, he was perfect for the role, but Aaron still couldn't stand the guy. And the more time Aaron spent around him, the more Aaron realized that Leo was....flirting with him. There was no other word for it, and it made him uncomfortable.

He couldn't wait to get out of there, away from Leo, the winks and the cocky grins that he had been casting his direction all afternoon. Didn't the guy know how to turn it off? And how much clearer could he be that he wasn't fucking interested?

"Don't forget we start shooting our love scenes tomorrow," Leo said with a wink after they had finished shooting for the day. Aaron was zipping up his jacket and grabbing his phone from his pocket to shoot Robert a text to say he was done and on his way.

"Great," Aaron said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, not looking up from his phone.

 _Kill me now,_ he thought as he exited the studio. His mind was on Robert and the conversation he knew they were going to have after his drunken revelation last night as he slid behind the wheel and pulled out of the parking lot.

He slowed for a stop sign, then headed down the road that led to Robert's house. He could only hope that once Robert learned everything about his past that he wouldn't turn around and walk away because Aaron knew that he was way past falling for Robert, and losing him now would send him down a dark path he didn't want to go back down.

* * *

 _Nosy paparazzi,_ Robert thought sourly before he threw the magazine down and rubbed his face.

Robert wasn't the jealous type. Well, that's what he tried to tell himself. Aaron's face was on the front cover, right next to a picture of Leo Peterson with the headline _Dingle and Peterson set to film their first movie together as their romance continues to sizzle off-screen._

He'd been busy most of the day in and out of meetings, and he'd just come home from a meeting with the caterers after finalizing the menu for the event. His schedule hadn't given him much time to think about Aaron and everything that had been bothering him since last night.

He knew that his father's death had triggered something in Aaron, and that it must have been something bad for him to turn to the bottle, but he never expected Aaron to reveal that his own father had raped him.

He'd tried to do some research of his own to find out more about Aaron's father, but the only information online about Aaron's family was his mum and step father who Robert already knew about. Aaron had obviously made sure that no one knew anything about his real father. Robert couldn't exactly blame him, not if what Aaron had revealed last night was true.

Aaron's father had raped him, and now he was dead. And Aaron was finally free.

Lost in his thoughts, he almost didn't hear the knock on the door. Robert ran a hand through his hair and opened the door to find Aaron on the other side, his hair wet from the rain, his jacket sticking to him like a second skin.

"Hey," Robert said, holding the door open so Aaron could come in out of the rain.

Aaron leaned against the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen with his legs crossed and hands stuffed in the pocket of his pants, trying to come up with something intelligent to say so they wouldn't have to delve right into what had happened last night.

Robert started to stack the papers that were tossed around on his kitchen table to keep his hands busy. "You want a drink?" he asked, looking up at Aaron who was watching him with heat evident in his eyes.

"A good shot of tequila would be good right about now."

Robert nodded, and went to the kitchen to grab a couple of shot glasses and a bottle of tequila from the liquor cabinet. "How did things go today with your boyfriend?" Robert asked as he poured two shots and handed one to Aaron.

"My boyfriend is standing right in front of me so...." Then it clicked who Robert was referring to. "I'm drinking hard liquor, you really have to ask how it went?"

Robert watched the gold liquid slide down Aaron's throat before downing his own shot. "I guess I don't."

"He's all cocky on set, it pisses me off. What pisses me off more is he's the perfect person for the job. I hate to admit it, but he's a good actor. Not something I ever thought I would admit out loud. Fuck, I am really dreading tomorrow."

"Why?"

Aaron snorted into his empty glass. "We shoot our first love scene tomorrow."

Robert knew it was all part of Aaron's job, that it didn't mean anything, but it stung knowing that tomorrow Leo would have his lips all over Aaron - _his_ boyfriend - in front of a camera and god knows how many people watching.

"This doesn't bother you, does it?" 

"No, of course not," Robert lied. 

"Good." Aaron shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the back of the couch. "Because I have to say, just to get through the scenes I'm just going to have to pretend it's you instead."

Robert focused on the way Aaron's lips moved when he talked. It was making it hard to concentrate. "Is that so?"

Aaron made it blatantly obvious he was checking Robert out as he stepped into Robert's personal space. Before Robert could blink, Aaron had him backed up against the kitchen counter. "Yeah, that's so. It's the only way I'm going to be able to do it. There's only one guy I want to kiss, and that's you."

Robert saw the desire swirling in Aaron's eyes, and he was pretty sure the same was reflected back in his. The room was practically vibrating with sexual tension, but they had things to talk about first, and they couldn't wait.

"We need to talk about last night," Robert said. 

"I would rather we didn't." Aaron snaked his arms around Robert's waist, making it even harder for Robert to concentrate, so Robert pushed his hands against Aaron's chest until he backed off. "Fine." Aaron sighed. "I know I was really drunk when I showed up here last night. I know I told you that my dad was dead."

"And then you said he raped you." Robert stared at the space separating them and when he saw the pain etched in Aaron's eyes, Robert knew he had to tread carefully as this was a very sensitive subject. "What you told me, it'll stay between us. You can trust me. Now that you're sober, I want you to start at the beginning, tell me what happened."

Robert grabbed two beers from the fridge to give Aaron time to collect his thoughts. When he joined Aaron on the sofa, Aaron was fidgeting with the drawstring on his hoody. Robert loosened the tie around his neck and handed a beer to Aaron.

"My mom abandoned me, left me alone with my dad who raped me. What else do you want to know?" Aaron's tone was clipped as he fiddled with the cap. Aaron didn't like reliving this particular part of his past, but if he wanted to Robert to be in his future - and he did - he needed to open up, he couldn't keep this part of himself locked away.

So he told Robert everything. From his troubled childhood, to his mother walking out on him and leaving him with his dad, a raging alcoholic who for kicks smacked him around and snuck into his room late at night and raped him.

"When I was eighteen I finally got the nerve to tell someone and went to the cops," Aaron said. "This was before I got my big break, just before I met Michael. It was a lengthy trial. It wasn't easy to get through. His lawyers used every trick they had up their sleeve to get him off, even painted me as this troubled kid who needed discipline. They made my mum look like the villain, not him. It made me sick. But I did what I had to do, I went up to that stand and I told the truth, I told them everything he did to me. I cried for days after that." 

"How many years did he get?" Robert hadn't said much since Aaron started telling him about his past. He had wanted to give Aaron the time to get everything out without any interruptions.

"Twenty." Aaron looked down at his hands that were shaking, then looked back over at Robert. "I started going to see him in prison after Michael died. Guess I wanted to punish myself some more, hoping it would help the numbness I felt. During those visits he finally admitted to it. In horrendous detail he told me how he took joy in hurting me, how I deserved it for being such a rotten little kid. The last time I visited him was two years ago. My father sat there with glass between us and told me that it was all my fault that Michael was dead, that he killed himself to get away from me."

Robert reached over and took Aaron's hands in his. "You know that's not true."

"I do now. But at the time, I was so full of anger and hatred, at Gordon, at the world, I couldn't see straight. I just knew that day that I was going to turn my life around, that I wasn't going to let him win anymore. So I said my peace, walked out of that prison and never went back. That was two years ago. I never saw him again and he never tried to reach out. I take some pride in knowing he died knowing how much I hated him and how successful I had become."

Robert's hold on Aaron's hands tightened. "I'm so proud of you."

Aaron touched Robert's arm, and waited for him to be disgusted, to not be able to look him in the eye, and to turn away from him like he was vile, but when Robert looked at him, Aaron saw something he wasn't expecting.

He saw love.

And when Robert pressed a kiss to his palm, Aaron closed his eyes and let out a breath. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders now that Robert knew everything about him and he wasn't running for the hills. He was just sitting there, offering him a hand to hold onto, a shoulder to cry on if he needed it, someone who saw him as being human, not just a victim... or a celebrity. In Robert's eyes he could see what he had been searching for his entire life but had never believed he would find.

Someone he could confide in, share his deepest secrets, someone he could trust with his whole heart.

"I want you to know me, just like I want to know you," Aaron said. "I opened up to you last night, and now tonight. I still blame the alcohol, but it's out there and you now know the biggest secret about me. So now it's your turn. Tell me about your family."

Robert took a sip of his beer for something to do with his hands. When he looked back at Aaron, his eyes looked sad. "I never talk about my parents because they were killed in a car accident twelve years ago. It's ironic, really. First I lose my parents, then I lose my wife the same way."

Aaron's fingers tightened around his beer bottle as he watched Robert closely. 

"Their car was totaled, completely destroyed in the crash. It clipped the end of another vehicle and flipped several times." Robert clamped his teeth down into his lower lip as he relived the accident that took his parent's lives. "They died instantly," Robert said as he looked over at Aaron, and while there was grief and pain swirling in his eyes, there was also anger.

Aaron squeezed Robert's arm. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. To lose both of them like that? I can't even begin to imagine how hard that was for you."

Robert offered a half-smile as he tried to keep his real feelings locked inside. He'd done it for so long, but for the first time in a long time, he was ready to open up to someone, to share the burden of his pain and anguish. "It was hard, but the hardest thing about losing them was finding out that the accident could have been avoided if my father hadn't have been drinking. Two days after the accident the cops told us that my father was so far over the legal limit that they were surprised he had even been able to walk from the party they had gone to the car."

Robert shook his head. "It's so fucked up, right? Here was this man, a loving husband, a dedicated father, a farmer for god's sakes, who everyone looked up to, and he was hiding the fact that he was a drunk. He hid it so well. But he got behind the wheel with my mom in the car. That's what kills me."

The level of pain, anger, and resentment Robert had felt in the wake of discovering that not only that his parents were dead but that his own father had caused the accident. He had felt the same pain, anger, and resentment after Michael had died. 

"I hated him for that. For a long time," Robert admitted. He swallowed, then he turned his hand over and Aaron automatically entwined their fingers. "But the truth is my dad and I didn't have a great relationship at the end. He didn't like....well, let's just say he didn't want a son that was bisexual. The last conversation we had he told me how ashamed of me he was." Then he fell silent and Aaron stared at their hands and rubbed a thumb on top of Robert's. "I've just gone and scared you off, haven't I?"

Aaron raised his eyes and shook his head, and when Robert's lips quirked up to one corner, Aaron leaned over and kissed him there. "No, far from it. You're an incredible man. What you've been through and the way you've overcome everything? It just makes me love you more." Without even realizing what he'd just admitted, Aaron lifted their hands and turned them over and pressed a soft kiss to Robert's palm, closed his eyes, and said what he knew was true in his heart. "I love you."

As the words left Aaron's mouth and floated through the air between them, the rest of the world faded away. When Aaron opened his eyes and stared at Robert's face and saw the same love he felt reflecting back at him, all his fears disappeared.

"I love you too," Robert whispered, and when Aaron's fingers stroked the back of his neck, he leaned into the touch. 

Aaron trailed his finger down to flirt with Robert's collar, then he flexed his hand over Robert's shoulder and tugged him in close. 

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Aaron asked him, hoping he wasn't ruining this perfect moment. "What you've seen, not just the tabloid rumors, but the premiers and the filming away on location...it can take a huge toll on a relationship. I just want you to be sure."

"I want you," Robert said honestly, and leaned forward and brushed their lips together. "From the moment we met, there's been something between us and I know I'm not the only one that felt it. I know that our lives are different, and I know there's going to be times when your career takes you away and that your face is going to be splashed on the cover of magazines, but I don't care about any of that. I just know how I feel about you. I know this, _us,_ is right."

Touched, Aaron ran his finger down Robert's cheek. "You and me, it does feel right. Ever since I laid eyes on you I wanted to make you mine."

"I am yours."

The second their lips touched, all of the doubts that Aaron had been harboring, disappeared. He clenched Robert's shirt as the kiss intensified. This, what he was feeling, what _they_ both were feeling, was real, and intense, and everything he had ever wanted but had been taught to believe he didn't deserve.

* * *

Barely two feet inside Robert's bedroom, Aaron was spun around, and his mouth was taken. Robert wasn't gentle, and neither were the hands at Aaron's waist. They had both shared things about themselves with each other tonight that were so tragic, so life shattering, things about themselves that they rarely opened up about with anybody else. It had made them both realize they had finally found the one person they could be completely open and honest with, without being afraid or holding things back. Their pasts were different, but they were the same. What they were feeling tonight went way past the physical. It was emotional, spiritual. 

The door was kicked shut, and a light switched on as Aaron was walked backward while his shirt was pulled from his pants. The mouth on his was ravenous, and the tongue that dipped between his lips was insistent.

Aaron brought his hands up to Robert's face and caressed his cheeks.

 _He tastes like tequila,_ Aaron thought as nimble fingers began playing with the bottom of his shirt.

Robert slid a hand around to the back of Aaron's head and flirted with the hair that had finally dried out from the rain. He pulled Aaron in as close as he could until their hips met, and the proof of Robert's arousal was pressed up against his own. 

"I've wanted to have you naked in my bed since the first second I saw you," Robert said as he started to undo the buttons of Aaron's shirt.

Aaron took Robert's bottom lip between his teeth and pulled gently before swiping his tongue over it. A hoarse sound came from Robert's throat.

"Too many clothes," Robert breathed out, exasperated.

Aaron lifted his hand to the tie knotted at Robert's throat and stroked it. "I could say the same."

"I had business meetings. Business attire was required."

"That's no excuse." Aaron loosened Robert's tie, removed it, and threw it to the floor. He then raised his hands to Robert's shirt and tore it apart. As the buttons popped free, he yanked Robert in by the edges of his shirt. "Hope you weren't attached to that shirt."

"It's just a shirt. I'm sure I'll survive without it."

"Rob?" Aaron asked seriously.

Robert's whole body tensed. "Yeah?"

Pushing the white material off Robert's shoulder, Aaron relayed his thoughts clearly. "I want you." He kissed down Robert's neck, and when he got to his ear, he sucked the lobe between his teeth. He pulled away and looked at Robert who was trying his best to appear unfazed by Aaron's touch. "If this is too fast, if you want to slow down, you need to tell me now."

When Robert just stood there, Aaron backed off. 

"Maybe I should just go," Aaron said. "Give you some time. I don't want to push you."

"No," Robert said quickly, grabbing his hand. "Don't go. I want you to stay."


	12. Chapter 12

Aaron woke up early just as the sun was beginning to rise and slip through the curtains of Robert's bedroom. Aaron had the intense urge to climb back into the bed, kiss his way up Robert's spine and nuzzle into his neck.

It wasn't an easy decision, though. As he got dressed, he looked over at the sleeping man in bed and was paralyzed by his own thoughts. He hated leaving, but he had a call at the studio in two hours and he needed to get home and shower.

Robert was sleeping peacefully, the white sheets draped at his waist. 

Last night had been amazing, and when he had woken up with Robert's arm curled around his waist, Aaron had never felt so safe, so wrapped up in another person.

Last night their entire relationship had changed, and Aaron knew that there was no going back. 

Rubbing his fingers along his jaw, he found himself smiling.Where had Robert been all his life and why had it taken so long for Aaron to find him?

Robert's legs shifted under the sheet that was barely covering him, and his head turned on the pillow so his face was now angled towards Aaron who was just grabbing his keys from the bedside table. Robert's eyes were still closed, but Aaron knew it wouldn't be long before he woke up, so he took a moment to study him. Aaron still didn't know how Robert had managed to change his outlook on relationships. He had come to terms with the fact that he was destined to spend his life alone after losing Michael. Even his brief engagement to Jason hadn't been able to dull the ache in his heart, but somehow Robert had found a way to break through his walls. He had convinced himself that relationships only ended in heartbreak and made life complicated, and complications he didn't need. But then Robert had swooped into his life and forced him to push aside his insecurities and take another chance on love.

As Robert's eyes opened and locked with his own, Aaron found himself unable to look away. He walked to Robert's side of the bed and crouched down. He brushed a stray hair out of Robert's eyes and leaned down and brushed a kiss against Robert's ear.

Robert rolled to his back and stretched his arms up over his head. "Where are you going?" he asked as he looked over at the clock on his bedside table. It was barely five a.m.

"I have to get home," Aaron said, running a finger down Robert's cheek. "Besides, I don't think it's a good idea if Mila walks in and finds a man in your bed."

"Come back to bed. She won't be up for a few hours yet."

Aaron took a step back as Robert reached for the button of his pants. It was way too tempting. He needed to get out of there now or he was going to end up back in Robert's bed. And naked.

Aaron held Robert's avid stare, but he couldn't give in. No matter how much he wanted to stay, he knew he couldn't, and Robert was making it harder with every lick of his lips that Robert knew drove him wild. And when Robert grinned and kicked off the sheet, Aaron walked to the door.

"I have to get to work," Aaron said.

"Right." Robert frowned. "Almost forgot you were filming today." He tried to ignore the stab of jealousy that he felt when he thought about the fact that his boyfriend would be locking lips with another man.

"Hey," Aaron said and linked his arms around Robert's neck. "It's just acting. Remember, I despise the guy."

That may have been true, but it didn't make Robert feel any better about the whole thing. He was still going to be distracted all day thinking about it. But for now, he poured everything he had into a kiss. Maybe he wanted to give Aaron something to think about when he was with Leo, a reminder that there was someone waiting at home for him. And maybe it made him petty, but he didn't care. 

With Robert's lips against his, Aaron felt the familiar stirring of need. When their lips parted, Aaron reluctantly pulled away. "I really have to go."

"I know." Robert sighed. He pressed his lips to Aaron's again, deepening it until they were both breathless.

"I really have to go," Aaron said again, but his hands had a mind of their own, stroking down Robert's sides to grip his hips. He teetered on the edge but made himself pull back. "Or I'm going to be late, really late."

"I love you," Robert said.

"I love you too. I'll call you later." He winked at Robert, then was gone.

He watched Aaron go before he crawled back into bed and groaned. 

As Aaron got behind the wheel, he knew right then, at that moment, as he drove off that with this man, the man he had just spent the night with, he wanted it all. He wanted everything.

All he wanted was right there within reach. All he had to do was reach out and take it.

* * *

Freshly showered and running late, Aaron felt his phone buzz in his pocket as he opened the door to the studio and stepped inside. He was met with an icy stare. "Yeah, I know I'm late," he muttered to Marcus as he took the outstretched script from his hand. 

"I said we start at eight a.m., not eight thirty-six," Marcus said as he lowered his phone and stuffed it back in the pocket of his jacket. 

"I said I was sorry," Aaron mumbled, then looked around the quiet set. "Is he here?"

"Your lover boy?" Marcus smirked. "Yes, he's running lines on set with one of the extras. Are you ready?"

Was he ready to film a love scene with a man he loathed?

No, not really.

But he knew the script by heart and had been ready to start filming for days. He would just have to find a way to put up with the man he couldn't stand, who was now walking towards him.

"You're late," Leo said.

"Well I'm here now, aren't I? Let's just get to work yeah?"

****

"Fucking hell," Aaron muttered seven hours later after a very long and unproductive day of shooting as he slid behind the wheel and rammed his key into the ignition.

Today had not gone well, and they were already behind schedule. Leo had hit his mark everytime, while he'd somehow managed to mess up his lines three times, resulting in an even longer day at the studio. He blamed the way Leo looked at him when Leo didn't think he was looking, and it had made him uncomfortable to the point that he was thrown him off his game. He had done this a thousand times, knew the script like the back of his hand, yet he'd been the one to screw up.

And to make matters worse, just as he was getting ready to leave for the day, Marcus had approached him about attending a party with Leo tomorrow night. It was good for publicity, Marcus said. Yeah well, it still didn't sit right with him, and he had a feeling Robert wasn't going to be too thrilled about it either.

Speaking of Robert....he had been unusually quiet. Aaron hadn't heard from him all day. When he finally found his cell phone, there was no message waiting for him, and no missed calls. He was probably busy with work and Mila, but that didn't stop the worry from forming in his mind. 

Last night had been incredible, and this morning he had lingered at Robert's not wanting to go but knowing he needed to get to work, and Robert had tried to entice him to stay. But as usual Aaron was battling his inner demons that, in the back of his mind, as they always did, reminded him that no one ever stayed with him, that they always found a reason to leave, that Robert was no different, even though he knew Robert _was_ different. That what they had was real.

He was still thinking about the last text he had sent to Robert a few hours ago that was still unanswered when he pushed open his front door and made his way inside. He was shocked to find his mum there, shrugging out of her jacket.

"What are you doing here?" Aaron said as he dropped his keys onto the entryway table, instantly regretting giving her a key to his place.

"I came to see you," Chas said. "I've barely seen you the last few times you came home to visit. Then I heard about you and Leo and I understand why you've been so distracted lately."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "They're just rumors, Mum. I'm not seeing him, or remotely interested in him. In fact I loathe the guy. Not that it's any of your business, but I am seeing someone."

"Please tell me it's not Robert."

"What?"

"I know you guys are working closely together on this event of his, but that's where it needs to end. He's bad news, Aaron. There are things about him that you don't know."

"I know him," Aaron said, annoyed. "I don't care what you think you know about him. I know _him_."

 _And it's none of your fucking business_ , Aaron wanted to say, because that's just the kind of mood he was in.

"Aaron, I'm serious. I knew his wife. He wasn't faithful to her, it was why they were in the middle of getting a divorce when she died."

No, he didn't believe it. He didn't want to. The Robert he knew would never have betrayed his wife. 

"They were getting divorced because they weren't in love anymore," Aaron said. Robert didn't like talking about his failed marriage, and maybe there had been some infidelity, wandering eyes, but that was years ago. People changed. He knew that better than anyone.

"That's just the story he's spinning you," Chas said. It was obvious from her tone that she wasn't particularly fond of Robert. "He was cheating on her. Angela was sure of it."

"So she had no actual proof."

"She knew him. They had been married for five years. She didn't need proof."

"Even if that was true, it's been three years," Aaron said. "He's a different person now." Of that, Aaron was absolutely sure.

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Mum, leave it. It's my life. Butt out."

"I'm just looking out for you."

The man his mum had been describing was nothing like the man Aaron had come to know, the man he had gone and fallen in love with.

The man he had been with last night was kind, gentle, and loving.

Just thinking about last night had a smile curving his lips. The way they had rolled over the bed, gasping, groaning, reaching for each other. It had been frantic and fast, Robert's hands on his body, and his on Robert's, igniting a fire that had consumed them both. They couldn't get enough of each other, Aaron remembered, and he wasn't sure if he would ever get enough of Robert, if he would ever not want him. 

He didn't think so.

No, Aaron thought, bringing himself back to the present. The man his mum thought she knew didn't exist. If he did, he was long gone.

"I love him, mum." Admitting it out loud to another person didn't scare him like he thought it would. It only made him feel more sure of what he was feeling. "And I'm asking you to butt out. Just be happy for me." Words of love had been his downfall in the past. He'd fallen for the carefully planned out lines from men before who had only been interested in his money, but Robert was different. Of that he was absolutely sure.

"Aaron." The unspoken warning was in her tone. "You're making a mistake."

Aaron poured himself a whiskey and raised his glass before draining it silently. "If it's a mistake, then it's mine to make."

Chas faced her son with her hands on her hips. "Don't do something stupid. You finally have your life together. You have a career, you're making a lot of money. And Leo, he seems like he could be good for you."

"I don't want him, I want Robert, and nothing you say is going to change that. You need to leave it alone. You're not going to change my mind about him."

"You don't know him, Aaron. Take my word for it, he'll only break your heart."

His lips tightened and slid her a glance that warned her to drop it. "I had a long day and I have another one tomorrow. You've said your peace so you can leave now."

"Aaron, please---" Her words were halted when Aaron's cell phone rang.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst incoming.

_Stay away from my son._

The warning was crystal clear. Silently, and in the dark, Robert berated himself for allowing himself to get involved with Chas Dingle's son. If he had known, would he have still pursued a relationship with Aaron?

Probably, Robert admitted. That's how much he wanted Aaron, how badly he wanted to just forget the past and hold onto him as long as he could. He was going to lose him when the truth came out, it was only a matter of time. Robert was pretty sure that losing Aaron was going to kill him. 

Now that he had Aaron in his life, now that he'd come to know the man behind the public facade, he just couldn't imagine not being with him, not loving him. He couldn't sleep, mentally preparing himself for the inevitable, and trying not to stare at his phone. He knew if he did, he would pick it up and respond to Aaron's messages.

_I haven't heard from you all day. I miss you._

_Did I do something wrong?_

_Do you regret last night?_

_I love you. Please, just let me know you're okay._

He knew he was pushing Aaron away, that being distant was not the way to deal with the problem, but he just couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone because he knew once he did, once he heard Aaron's voice, he would forget about everything else. But that wouldn't solve anything. And if Chas' warning was sincere, and he knew that it was, he was running out of time.

He had to end things between them, in his head he knew that, but his heart hurt everytime he thought about it. 

Some betrayals you just couldn't undo, no matter how much you wished you could. Robert had learned that the hard way, and now, once again, his past was coming back to haunt him. It wasn't enough that his guilt entered his subconscious resulting in reliving the nightmare of the worst night of his life - the night Angela died - while he was sleeping.

He often wondered if he would ever be able to forgive himself, especially when those closest to his wife still hadn't, when they still continued to drive the knife farther and farther into his chest until he couldn't breathe. He couldn't outrun his past or his mistakes no matter how hard he tried. Someone was always there to remind him of what he had done, the mess he had made of his life.

He had destroyed what had been left of their marriage, and of Angela's trust, by crawling into bed with the first available body he could find. Yeah, maybe sleeping with his wife's best friend hadn't been the smartest move, but his head had been all over the place back then. He wasn't that man anymore, he reminded himself as he laid awake, unable to shake the negative thoughts from his head.

Her death had been tragic, but the thing that always haunted him was the what if. What if they had handled their problems differently, what if they had talked it out instead of turning to other people for the comfort they just couldn't find with each other, things could have turned out differently. Maybe Angela would still be alive.

He would never know.

And that's what killed him. Not for him, but for his little girl. It was his fault that Mila's mum was gone, buried in the ground. She would never see Mila grow up, get married, or have children of her own.

Angela's family and the few close friends that they had shared had all turned on him in his moment of grief. They didn't care that he was hurting, too. No, he wasn't allowed to grieve because he was the reason she was in the ground. That's what they said. They laid all the blame at his feet.

He had wrecked their marriage. He had put the final nail in the coffin.

That's what Chas had told him. 

Why the hell had he gone to bed with Aaron when he knew that Chas would never allow Aaron to carry on a relationship with him, the man who cheated on one of her closest friends, who she blamed for her death.

He didn't regret last night. How could he? It had been incredible. He was in love with Aaron, he knew that. And Aaron loved him. But would Aaron still feel the same way once he knew the truth? Robert wondered. He didn't know the answer to that, but he was pretty sure the odds were not in his favor.

Robert swung his legs over the side of the bed and picked up his phone where he left it hours before. Aaron's last message was still on his screen. He tossed the phone on the bed and rubbed his hands over his face.

He finally picked up his phone and typed a message back to Aaron that nearly killed him to write.

_I need some space to figure things out. I'm sorry, I can't do this._

* * *

He needed space? He can't do this?

_What the fuck?_

Aaron felt numb. Completely and utterly numb as Robert's message flashed on his screen.

"Hey."

_Leo._

"Yeah, what?" Aaron snapped as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. He found it hard to look anyone in the eye after what he'd just read - especially the man currently in front of him, holding out a cup of coffee to him.

He wasn't in the mood for Leo's attempt at being nice.

"You look pissed off," Leo said, sitting beside Aaron on the couch in his dressing room. He'd gone looking for Aaron when he hadn't shown up on set.

"It's none of your business." As he was trying to figure out what the fuck Robert's message meant, Leo had somehow snuck into his dressing room. But Aaron couldn't really be mad at him for it - he was supposed to be on set ten minutes ago.

Just the thought of Robert saying he couldn't do this sent a wave of nausea through him. 

_What the fuck did I do?_ Aaron wondered as he took the cup from Leo's outstretched hand.

"Thanks," he said, taking a sip. "Sorry, my head is all over the place this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Whoa, did Aaron Dingle just apologize to me?"

"Don't get used to it," Aaron muttered.

"Something is going on with you, I can tell. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Aaron said. Even if he did, the last person he would talk to about his relationship problems was Leo. And when Leo reached out and touched his shoulder, he flinched. 

"Sorry," Leo said, withdrawing his hand. "I'm just worried about you. If you want me to go tell Marcus to scratch today..."

"No," Aaron said, standing up. "Let's get back to work. The quicker we start, the quicker we'll be done."

The hurt that skidded across Aaron's face tore at Leo. His ultimate goal was to get Aaron into bed, but he was starting to care about him and seeing Aaron so torn up made him want to comfort, to soothe. Whatever was going on with Aaron was serious, and maybe it was wrong, but he'd be a fool not to jump at the chance to take advantage of Aaron's current state.

Leo nodded and opened the door. "Let's go then. Are you going to be okay for tonight? I know Marcus roped you into it and you don't really want to go, but---"

Aaron felt like he was about to fall apart, and there was no way in hell he was going to do that in front of Leo. "I'll be fine," Aaron said. Maybe going out and attending a party would make him feel better. Maybe getting plastered would help him forget all about Robert fucking Sugden.

Maybe going out with Leo wouldn't be so bad, tolerable even. 

Aaron wanted to ask how much time Robert needed, a day, a week, a month? But he couldn't bring himself to ask, afraid of the answer. He could go over there, bang on Robert's door until he got the answers to all of his questions, but what would be the point? 

There wasn't one. 

Robert needed space? Well fine. He would give Robert all the space he wanted. He wasn't going to sit around and wait for Robert to grow the fuck up. He was Aaron fucking Dingle, and if Robert didn't want him, there were plenty of others that did.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It may be a while before I update, so I wanted to add in this last part so you're not left on too big of a cliffhanger. Only a few chapters left :) Thanks for all the love for this fic, it's been fun to write!

The only good thing about this party, Aaron thought as he looked around the crowded room, was that alcohol was flowing freely and the food was pretty damn good. Aside from that, he was bored out of his fucking mind.

He was drunk, but not drunk enough. He was going to need another bottle of champagne to dull the pain cutting through his soul. 

Every time his phone had buzzed he kept hoping it was Robert. Had he rethought his decision to cast him aside? 

Well, it was too fucking late the more time that passed. 

Damn it, he couldn't stop thinking about Robert. He loved him, and missed him, wanted to hear his voice. He felt tears sting his eyes and felt ashamed and stupid. Falling for Robert had been a mistake. A big fucking mistake. It didn't matter that Robert had been the one to halt the breaks, it didn't stop him from wondering where the hell Robert was and what he was doing.

And what the hell was really going on.

It was driving him fucking crazy.

Robert would change his mind, he thought. Or maybe it was just the champagne clouding his judgment.

He did a quick scan of the room and spotted Leo, dressed in a navy blue suit, at the bar with two fresh glasses of champagne. He turned, quirked an eyebrow then winked at him before walking in his direction.

_Fuck._

Closing his eyes, Aaron wished he could be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"I don't think so," Aaron said when Leo snaked an arm around his waist, but he took the glass of champagne he held in his other hand and downed the contents in one gulp.

"It's just for the cameras," Leo said as he sipped champagne. He was on his third or fourth drink, Aaron was sure. And the man was flirty drunk, which was only irritating Aaron more. If he allowed himself, he could easily fall for Leo's charm, but there was only one man he wanted and that man was gone.

_Stop thinking about him._

"You want to give the gossip mags something to talk about?" Aaron said.

"What did you have in mind?" Leo winked at him, and Aaron wanted to punch him in the face.

A bitter snarl curved his lips. "If you don't take your fucking hands off me you'll find out," Aaron snapped. From the corner of his eye, he saw the flash of a camera. He took a step forward and approached the young woman who had just snapped not one but three photos of him and Leo that he knew would be used to further spin the public's fascination with their so-called love affair. He had been at the center of media storms before, but these untrue rumors were spreading like wildfire. Did the media even check their facts anymore or have any scruples? Aaron wondered as he glared at the woman.

The woman took a tentative step backward. Swallowing back her fear, she thrust a voice recorder in his face. "I hope you don't mind answering a few questions, Mr. Dingle. For your fans," she added with a smile that he was sure she used on a daily basis to get people spilling their guts.

But it wasn't going to work on him. There was nothing to tell. Even if there was, he kept his love life private.

"If it's about the film, sure," Aaron said, grabbing another glass of champagne from a waiter walking by with a tray. "If it's about this idiot here," he said, pointing his glass at Leo, "I'll just repeat what I've told you guys before. No comment."

Leo smirked and ran his eyes appreciatively up and down the woman's red pantsuit. "He's shy," he told her with a smile that melted hearts everywhere, but all Aaron wanted to do was tape the bastard's mouth shut so he didn't have to look at it anymore.

"Do you ever just shut up?" Aaron muttered, then turned his attention back to the reporter. "When I said no comment, I meant no comment." Then he walked away.

 _Just a few more hours,_ he told himself. _Then you can go home and pretend that you're not missing Robert and stare at your phone wishing he would call._

* * *

Aaron stormed out of the party a few hours later angry and pissed off.

 _Fuck this night,_ Aaron thought as he waited for the valet to bring his car around.

"Running away so soon?"

Aaron grit his teeth and turned to face the man that had just stood in a crowded room in front of everyone, including the editor from his least favorite trashy, gossip mag, and basically told the entire world they were dating, which they definitely were not and never would be. Even if Leo was the last man on earth, Aaron wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole.

"You've got some fucking nerve, Peterson. If I were you, I'd stay the fuck away from me. After what you pulled in there, you're going to be lucky if you have all of your limbs in the morning."

Leo handed his ticket to the valet and moved to stand in front of Aaron. "I was just feeding them what they wanted to hear. It's not the end of the world, Dingle. And who's to say what I just back there won't be true when all is said and done?"

"When hell freezes over."

"Have I ever told you how much it turns me on when you get feisty?" 

The grin that broke out on Leo's face had Aaron gritting his teeth. "Shut the fuck up." Aaron was done, so fucking done. _Where the hell is my car?_ He just wanted to get the fuck away from there. "I'm trying here, Leo. All I want to do is finish this movie, but you're making it impossible. I've waited my whole career to make this film. I wish you would just stop trying to convince the world we're together, it makes me uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry," Leo said, and he almost looked sincere. "If I had known it bothered you so much...."

"You would have done it anyway," Aaron said.

Leo nodded. "Yeah maybe. I like you, Aaron. I'm just trying to get you to open up. You're so closed off. I thought if the world thought we were together, it would vamp up more publicity for the movie. It's going to help both of our careers. I figured after the premiere, we just go our separate ways and no one gets hurt."

Aaron leaned in until their noses were almost touching. "I'm going to make it clear for you so there's no mistake. This movie is really important to me and if you mess this up in any way for me, you'll be sorry. You and me? Never going to happen."

When the valet finally pulled up in his car after what had felt like an eternity, Aaron got behind the wheel and floored it.

* * *

After three days, Robert was miserable. Fucking miserable.

 _It's your own fucking fault_ , his mind taunted him.

It was, Robert knew that, but it didn't ease the ache in his heart or the way his chest constricted every time his phone rang hoping it was Aaron even though he told Aaron he needed space.

_You're such an idiot._

Robert sat on his couch, with the TV turned onto old reruns of a television show he couldn't even name. He'd tucked Mila into bed an hour before, giving him nothing but time to berate himself for the way he was running away from his problems instead of dealing with them, just like he always did.

_Should have just told Aaron the truth about your past. Maybe he would have understood. It certainly would have been better than this._

He brought the bottle of beer to his lips and drained it as a loud pounding started on his door. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Open the door, Rob!"

_Great, just what I need. My little sister checking up on me._

Robert dropped the empty bottle on the couch and walked to the front door. When he opened it, he scowled at Victoria, who was on the other side.

"You look terrible," Victoria said as she looked him over. 

"Thanks," Robert said dryly. Feeling defensive, he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you doing here anyway? Checking up on me?"

"From the looks of this place and your hair...."

Robert frowned and ran a hand through his messy hair. "What about my hair?"

"Are we just going to ignore the obvious?"

Robert moved away from the wall and shrugged. "If you mean that I'm not in the mood for company, then no. I'm not in the mood for company so you can leave now."

Victoria ignored that. "This isn't like you, canceling plans last minute. Something is going on."

"It was just dinner, Vic. I just wasn't in the mood to go out."

"What is going on with you?" she demanded. "And don't tell me nothing is because I won't believe you."

"It's none of your business, Vic. Leave it."

"Is this about Aaron?"

Just hearing his name made Robert wince.

"It is, isn't it? Did you guys have a fight?"

"No." Another lie. They just continued to pile up. Suddenly he wished he hadn't decided to open up to her about his feelings for Aaron.

"Where is he?"

"How the hell should I know?"

Victoria's eyebrows rose. "Because according to our last conversation you were in love with him and he felt the same way about you."

Feeling defeated, Robert slumped back against the wall. "I haven't seen or heard from him for three days. I told him I needed time to think."

"That explains the last text I got from Adam then."

"What?"

"He had to go rescue Aaron from some party the other night."

"Right." He'd seen the pictures. Aaron with his arm around Leo's waist, Leo all over Aaron.... He had thrown the magazine across the room and later taken scissors and ripped the fucking thing to pieces.

"I know you, Rob. You're pretending that you don't care but you do. It bothers you that he was out with this Leo guy."

Robert shrugged, but even he knew he wasn't that good of an actor. He was good at hiding his emotions, but not when it came to Aaron. "Okay, fine. Yes, it bothers me, but he's not mine anymore. He can go out with whoever he wants."

"What happened? Why did you end things?"

Robert walked right past her into the kitchen and grabbed two beers from the fridge and passed one to her. He closed the fridge and leaned up against it. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Is this because of who he is? I didn't think you had a problem with his celebrity."

"It's not that." Robert took a long swig of his beer and as he lowered the bottle, he realized that she was the only one he could talk to, the only person that wouldn't judge him, and he needed to unburden himself. It was tearing him up inside. "Chas warned me away from him. She said she would tell him the truth about me and Kate if I didn't end it."

"Rob, that was three years ago. I know you think you were the only one to blame, but your marriage was already over when you slept with Kate. Aaron would understand."

"I'm not so sure about that," Robert said.

"I am," she said. "I know Aaron. He would understand."

When Robert's phone vibrated in his pocket, he felt a little sliver of hope slip through the cracks. But when he grabbed it from his pocket and checked the message, he tossed it on the kitchen table.

"I hate this," Robert admitted. "As soon as I sent him the message, I knew it was a mistake, that I should have just talked to him and told him the truth. I didn't know it would hurt this much." He ran a hand through his hair and realized he really needed to wash it.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go find him and tell him. If you keep going on like this, you're going to lose him."

"Just go find him and tell him? It's not that easy."

"I never said it was going to be easy, but it has to be better than this. You love him? Go prove it."

* * *

Just when Robert finally decided to try and get some sleep, there was a loud knock on the door. When he pulled it open, he was shocked to find Aaron on the other side.

An unshaven and fuming mad Aaron.

"You need some time? What the fuck is that about?" The words were full of frustration as Aaron glared at him.

"Hey," Robert said, trying to sound casual but failing terribly. "What are you doing here at...." He glanced down at his watch. "Midnight." He reached out a hand to keep Aaron from coming any further inside. "I can't do this right now, Mila is asleep." He didn't budge as Aaron looked up at the staircase and came closer.

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you went all fucking radio silent on me," Aaron said.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have Leo's tongue down your throat," Robert shot back.

Aaron narrowed his eyes. "Saw the pictures, did you? Not that it matters, but my tongue was not down his throat. Those pictures were photoshopped. We just went to a party together, that's it."

"Really?" Robert didn't sound like he believed him. He brought his face close enough to Aaron's that the scruff on Aaron's face abraded his smooth one. 

"Yeah really," Aaron said and grabbed Robert's arm and pulled him closer. "Trust me, there's only one tongue I want down my throat and that's yours."

"Did you? Could have fooled me."

"You're the one that broke this off, remember?"

He'd thought of nothing else for the past three days. Of course, he fucking remembered. "I was going to call you tomorrow."

"You're too late." Aaron released Robert abruptly, and as quickly as Aaron had appeared, he was gone.


	15. Chapter 15

_"You're too hard to love. I'm sorry but you've left me with no other choice," an evil voice snarled._

_He caught glimpse of a rock hoisted high. Before he could move, it crashed down._

_Bam!_

_Pain exploded in his skull and white light flashed behind his eyes._

_He staggered backward, blood running in his eyes, fear sliding down his spine. His back hit the railing and he tried to catch himself, but it was too late. His fingers scraped the rail only to lose their grip as he was pushed over the ledge and he hit the icy water below._

_He knew this was it, that he was going to die._

_He tried to scream, but saltwater filled his nose and throat, making it impossible. His lungs felt like they were on fire, threatening to explode. Frantically he fought, kicking, looking up to the surface where, beyond the rippling veil of the waterline he caught a glimpse of his attacker as he stood beneath a lamp post on the dock. The man he had once loved wore a twisted grin that was menancing._

_Why had he done this?_

_In one last effort, he screamed._

_"Help me, please." But it was too late. Saltwater flooded his throat. Wave after wave of burning water was crushing him from the inside out, and then came the blackness, an eerily seductive calm teased at the edge of his brain, closing in on him as he quit struggling and he took his last breath. He caught one final glimpse of his killer, his husband, as he slipped under the watery depths._

"Cut!" the director yelled.

"His own husband kills him," Leo said, shaking his head as he unzipped his rain jacket and handed it over to a crew man. "Gripping, gripping stuff, Dingle, I gotta say."

Aaron shivered as one of the crew placed a towel around his shoulders. "Fuck, that water is cold."

"Maybe I can help warm you up," Leo said with a smirk.

"I'll pass," Aaron said, rolling his eyes.

Leo shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself. Don't say I didn't offer. You know when I first started reading the script, I thought you were going for a happily ever after kind of deal, not an _I get killed by my husband_ dark ending."

"Expect the unexpected," Aaron said. "To be honest when the writers came to me with this idea to turn it dark towards the end, I was skeptical. It wasn't what I was looking for, but the more I read, the more intrigued and excited I became. It's brilliant, really. And don't take this the wrong way, but you really know how to play a cold hearted psychopath."

"Thanks," Leo said dryly, uncapping a water bottle and taking a long chug. 

"I meant it as a compliment," Aaron said. "Not a diss."

"Aaron Dingle complimenting me? I never thought I'd see the day."

"Don't get used to it," Aaron muttered, and turned around to head back to his dressing room. Now that they had filmed one of the last parts of the movie, they had a few days off and he couldn't wait to get out of there. 

But Leo's words had him turning back around.

"You know Dingle, you're not half bad either. Okay, I'll admit it. You killed it today."

That's when Aaron's trademark grin came out. He couldn't help it.

"Well," he said, "I am the best. See you around."

* * *

_2 days later - 1 day before the big event_

Robert and Aaron hadn't spoken for three days, not since Aaron's impulsive late night visit that had ended in him walking away. But the charity event was tomorrow night, and they needed to at least appear cordial in front of the hundreds of guests that were planning to attend, so they agreed to meet at Robert's place to go over final details, and if Robert had his way, clear the air between them and get rid of this awkwardness that was between them.

He wasn't nervous, Robert told himself as he rubbed his hands down his jean clad legs. But he knew even he couldn't fake it. And when Robert heard the familiar rumble of an engine, his pulse jumped. Through the open door, he watched as Aaron's Audi appeared.

Aaron cut the engine as rain peppered the windshield, drizzling down the glass in jagged streaks as Aaron stared at the house in front of him and his eyes landed on the man leaning against the door frame. The man that always made his heart pound whenever he was around him.

Yeah, trying to convince himself that he wasn't affected clearly wasn't working as he palmed the erection that was going to be difficult to conceal. Even though Robert was making him beyond frustrated, Aaron still wanted him, there was no point in denying it.

 _Stubborn man,_ Aaron thought as he tried to get his heart - and his desire - under control.

Deciding that it was better to just get this the hell over with, Aaron parked and got out of the car. He kept his eyes on Robert's as he made his way up the walkway, wondering how this was going to play out.

The feeling of regret crowded around him. If he was honest, he expected Robert to be mad for the way he had just showed up the other night uninvited with no warning, and the abrupt way he had left, not giving Robert a chance to explain.

He hadn't been drunk, though he was sure that's what Robert had thought. He didn't handle rejection well, he never had, and that was the only excuse he had for acting the way he had.

He held out a white paper bag, his attempt at a peace offering. "I brought you and Mila some donuts. To apologize for the other night, just showing up like that. I should have just respected your wishes and given you space."

"Thanks." Robert took the bag, and it crinkled as he opened it up to take a look inside. "Covered in sugar. I'm sure she'll love it."

Aaron let a laugh break free. "Sorry. It was the only thing the cafe had that I thought she would like."

"She'll be down in a minute," Robert said, walking back inside, Aaron following closely behind him but keeping a safe distance between them.

As if on cue, Mila came running down the stairs. "Daddy, I can't find Bunny." Mila was pouting, but then she saw Aaron and a smile lit up her face. "Aro," she squealed in delight. She couldn't quite pronounce his name yet.

"Hey you." Aaron leaned down to her height and ruffled her hair. "I brought you a treat."

"You did?"

The way his daughters eyes lit up had Robert's heart skipping a beat.

"You can take it with you to Auntie Vics," Robert said. "She should be here any minute to pick you up."

"We're going to the museum," Mila said. Her excitement was contagious, and it managed to distract both of them for a few minutes, easing the tension that had suddenly engulfed the room.

"That sounds like fun," Aaron said. 

Five minutes later Victoria showed up. If she sensed the tension between the two men in the room, she didn't say anything. 

"I'll bring her back around six?" she said as she helped MIla zip up her jacket.

"Yeah, sounds good. Thanks Vic," Robert said.

"Nice seeing you, Aaron," Vic said.

"Yeah, you too," Aaron replied.

When they were gone, Robert ran a hand through his hair. "So, should we get to it?"

Aaron followed Robert into his office that was just off the kitchen, and the whole time all he could think about was how he was going to get through the rest of the afternoon without acting on the intense sexual tension that both of them were doing their best to ignore. 

* * *

"I was going to call," Robert said after twenty minutes of awkward silence.

"I don't give a fuck," Aaron said looking around, at the wall, the closed door, anywhere but at the temptation in front of him. 

"Yes, you do."

He was done. He was tired of wondering where the hell they stood, and what the hell was going through Robert's head that made him think that running away was better than facing whatever the hell was going on together. Had he done something wrong? Was his celebrity too much for him to handle? 

"Can't we just get back to work? This is your event, remember? It's the only reason I'm here. Whatever the hell is going on with you and me, we can deal with it later." Aaron looked back down at the papers in front of him for a distraction. When he looked up again, he narrowed his eyes. "Does it make you feel good knowing I was waiting for you to call?" 

"No, of course not," Robert said. "I just didn't know what to say. This has been hard for me too, you know."

"How the hell would I know? You just keep shutting me out. I can't fix this if I don't know what the hell is going on." With Robert opposite him, peering over his laptop, Aaron was about ready to end this stupid game they were playing. Aaron scratched the thick stubble covering his chin. "I'm just going to go then and leave you to it. After tomorrow we don't have to see each other again, since that's the way you want it." His voice was decepitvely low and full of hurt. 

Robert got up from his desk and went to move around Aaron, but before he could blink, he felt two strong hands on his shoulders pinning him in place. Aaron's eyes scanned his face in a frantic search for some sort of sign that Robert wanted to beg him to stay, but he saw nothing. 

Then Aaron exploded.

"Fuck me for being so stupid, for actually believing what we had was real," he fumed, then dropped his hands away. "And fuck you for making me fall in love with you."

Robert stood frozen as Aaron paced back and forth, and then as if he'd come to some inner conclusion, Aaron spun around and stormed out of the office and down the hall towards the front of the house.

There was no way Robert could just let him go after that. Robert got to the front door first and blocked his way before Aaron could walk out of his life forever.

Finally finding his tongue, Robert whispered, "you still love me?"

"Move," Aaron said, devoid now of any emotion. But Robert didn't budge. He just stood there staring back at Aaron. "I said move."

Stubborn, Robert shook his head. "Not until you let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain. We have nothing left to talk about. Get. Out. Of. My. Way."

But Robert was damned if he was going to let Aaron walk away. The fear of losing Aaron had kept Robert from talking about what was really bothering him, but he was about to lose Aaron anyway so maybe it was time to open the fuck up and stop trying to hide the truth.

Done with waiting, Aaron grabbed Robert's arm and shoved him aside. "I'm going to get in my car and get out of here. When you figure your shit out, you know where to find me."

"It's not that easy," Robert said, trying to get him to understand. "It's not about not wanting you or being with you. I come with a lot of baggage."

"This is your choice, Rob. I'm still here. You're the one putting on the brakes. I've made it clear how I feel about you. You're the one that can't make up his fucking mind."

It wasn't a choice, Robert knew it wasn't. It had stopped being a choice when Robert realized it wasn't his head deciding, it was his heart.

"Aaron?" He waited, and when Aaron didn't say anything, he whispered, "I love you too."

"Do you?" Aaron's expression was clear. _I don't believe you._

* * *

Aaron reached out and hooked his fingers into the front pocket of Robert's jeans and pulled him close. "You love me? Prove it. Tell me what's going on. And don't tell me that you're fine when I know you're not."

"This scares me," Robert said. " _You and me_ , how fast this is movingscares me. I haven't been in a relationship since my wife died, not a real relationship, and I certainly don't let my fucking heart rule my head."

"I get that you're scared," Aaron said. "But don't shut me out. Talk to me. How do I know how to fix---"

"I cheated on my wife." When Aaron brought his hand up to Robert's face and cradled his cheek, Robert pushed him away. "I kissed another woman and took her to bed, and not just any other woman. My wife's best friend. I betrayed my wife, I broke my vows to her."

"That was a long time ago," Aaron said. "Look at you, you're still beating yourself up about something that happened three years ago. What happened to your wife was not your fault."

"I fucked someone else when I was married. It doesn't matter that we hadn't slept together in months or that we both knew it was over. I was still married. That should tell you something about me, the kind of man that I am, that I do whatever the hell I want no matter what the consequences are. We're better off ending this now before either of us gets in too deep."

"Are you fucking serious?" When Robert swallowed but didn't say a word, Aaron pushed him roughly against the wall. Robert didn't know what to expect as he found his back against brick and Aaron's face inches from his. "We're both in too deep already, but you already know that. It's like you have this barrier that no one can get through, even me."

Aaron was right. He did have a barrier. He didn't trust himself not to make the same mistake, to hurt someone else he loved. It was better to just keep it easy, simple, and uncomplicated.

Everything Aaron wasn't.

"Yes, I have a fucking wall," Robert said, his breathing heavy. "It's twenty feet tall, especially with you. You're different. I haven't felt this way about anybody ever. And the fact that you could walk away at any second is fucking terrifying."

Aaron lowered his hands to Robert's hips. "You have nothing to be scared of, I'm not going anywhere. My mum already told me about what happened between you and your wife, and you know what? I don't care. Because I know you, the man you are now. Does this scare me? Fuck yes it does. I don't think I've ever been more scared of anything in my life. But I'm not going to let my fear make me walk away because I know how I feel when I'm with you. But if you don't feel the same way..."

"I want this, I want this so much that it scares the shit out of me," Robert admitted as he placed a hand on Aaron's chest. "The man that your mum remembers, the man she still thinks I am, doesn't exist. He died the day I buried my wife in the ground and became a single father. I need you to believe that."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Aaron said softly as he tugged Robert closer. "But you know what? We can't worry about what other people think. I already told my mum that she needs to butt out, that I won't have her talking about you in any negative way, especially when your daughter is around."

Robert pressed his forehead against Aaron's and closed his eyes. "Thank you." Without him even knowing it, Aaron had fundamentally changed him, made him believe that it was possible to love again, and there was no way he could ever be unchanged. What was left of him - his heart, his soul - belonged to the man whose arms were now circled around his neck. "Aaron, I need...."

"What do you need?"

"Just this," Robert whispered, and then slammed their mouths together.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I added this extra light, flirty chapter for those that have stuck with this story. The last chapters will focus on the charity event and the Robron happy ending. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> I may do a sequel if there's any interest.

Aaron woke the next morning to the sun slipping through the bedroom window. Yawning, he let his eyes adjust and glanced at the time on his watch and groaned.

_Why the hell am I awake at six fifteen in the fucking morning?_

Rolling to his side, he picked up his phone from where he'd left it on the bedside table to check for any messages. He groaned when he saw the two missed messages from his agent.

_I sent you a new script. Producers already basically have you hand picked for the role. Take a read and let me know if you're interested._

_Dingle, answer your damn phone. I need to give them an answer today._

He sent a quick text back to his agent that he would look at the script later and get back to him. Because right now, the only thing on his mind was talking to the man that was consuming his every thought.

He found Robert's name in his contact list and typed. **Morning.**

He put his phone down and tried not to stare at it while he waited for a response. He knew Robert would already be up with Mila. He reminded himself that it would probably take a while for Robert to text him back.

Then his phone vibrated.

**Robert: Hey. I was just thinking about you.**

Aaron couldn't help but smile at that. **Really? That's funny because I was thinking about you too.**

Almost immediately his phone buzzed again.

**Robert: How did you sleep?**

**Fine. But I would have slept better with you beside me.**

Aaron got out of bed and went to the closet, and by the time he had tugged a gray sweater over his head, his phone went off again.

**Robert: Sorry, I still had so much left to do for today otherwise I would have asked you to stay.**

**As much as I would have liked that, you have Mila to think about. Until we go public, it's safer if we don't spend the night together.**

Aaron was pulling on his socks when Robert responded.

**Robert: I want to tell her about us. After yesterday, and everything we talked about, I'm ready. But I'll be patient until you are.**

Aaron felt a smile cross his mouth. He was ready, so ready for their relationship to be out in the open.

**I want to tell the world about us. Maybe after tonight is over we can talk about it.**

He kept trying to think of that precise moment when Robert had slipped in under his defences. The word _forever_ had never entered his mind, not since Michael. But it sure as hell was now. It didn't scare him like he thought it would. Instead he felt...excited. Excited for the future, a future with Robert.

And after this craziness was over, he planned on proving it. But tonight, tonight was about Robert and everything he'd worked for. 

Several minutes passed before he heard from Robert again.

**Robert: I want that too.**

Two days ago he thought he had lost Robert forever, and he blamed his mum for that. He would deal with her later, too. But right now...

An image loaded onto his phone that had him aching with longing. There, staring at him, was a selfie Robert had taken of him in the kitchen with Mila on his lap, clutching her stuffed bunny. The smile on Robert's lips was subtle, but it was definitely there.

**I love your smile. It's so freaking sexy. It's one of the first things I noticed about you when we met.**

Aaron decided what the hell and took a selfie of himself in front of the mirror in his bedroom, which he rarely ever did. Strangers snapped pictures of him every day, and his face was constantly splashed over magazines and TV. Why anyone thought his face was remotely interesting or attractive still boggled his mind.

Several minutes passed until Robert texted him back.

**Robert: You're so fucking gorgeous. Did I ever tell you that?**

Aaron grinned. **Not recently.**

**Robert: well you're fucking gorgeous. I can't stop looking at you.**

Aaron grabbed his wallet and keys from the dresser and stuffed them in the pocket of his jacket. He picked up his phone again as he made his way downstairs. **You never have to. Tonight** **I plan on leaving that party with the sexiest man in the room on my arm and I'm never letting him go.**

Not five sceconds after Aaron sent the last message, his phone started ringing. Aaron brought the phone to his ear as he started the coffee pot.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." Robert's deep voice filtered through the phone and sent a shiver of desire straight down Aaron's spine. He heard a muffled _fuck_ on the other end of the line. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Aaron said. "Almost burned my finger. I really should just go out and get coffee instead of attempting to make it myself."

"What, you don't have someone that shows up at your door, hot coffee in hand, Mr. Famous Actor?"

"Shut it, you. I'm not that bad, am I?"

"No, I was just teasing you. You're definitely not the egotistical, conceited actor I thought you were before I met you."

"Oh, is that so?" Aaron added sugar to his coffee and stirred it with a spoon before blowing on the hot liquid. He leaned his hip against the kitchen counter and took a sip. "So you thought I had a big ego?"

"Yes. But Aaron?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing I read about you comes close to the amazing man that you really are. I wish everybody got to see the side of you that I see, but at the same time I'm glad they don't. I'm going to be the lucky one leaving tonight with you on my arm. Now as much as I would love to spend all day on the phone with you, I have a million things to do. I'll see you tonight."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearing the end...thanks for all the love for this little fic that took on a life of its own 💙

Robert hated green, but as he knotted the dark green tie at his throat, he put on a smile for Mila who was watching him intently from the bed.

Every time he looked at Mila, he saw Angela. It was in her eyes, her smile, the way she laughed. It made Robert's heart ache. She reminded him so much of the woman he had fallen in love with, the woman who he had married, then betrayed.

He had so much regret, but when he looked at Mila, he was reminded that while they hadn't been able to save their marriage, they had created a beautiful child together, and from the minute she had been born, she had become their number one priority, despite the problems that just kept mounting between them. For Mila, they kept on trying to make things work but in the end it just hadn't been enough.

Angela would be proud of her little girl, he thought. Mila was the reason he did this, why he put everything into making this event a success every year. He didn't want Mila to just have memories of the sadness that Angela's death had brought, and he didn't want Angela's death to be in vain. He wanted her life to have meant something, and to give his daughter something to celebrate in spite of all the pain.

"You look beautiful," he told her as he smoothed his hand down his white dress shirt. All dressed up in an emerald green dress, the same shade as his tie, with a few stray blond curls framing her angelic face, Mila was the spitting image of her mother. It made his chest tighten and his heart stretch.

Mila beamed and twirled around. "You like it? I think Momma would."

"She definitely would have," Robert agreed. "But your momma always thought you were beautiful."

"I wish I could remember her." Frustrated at her inability to remember the woman that had given her life, Mila let out a frustrated sigh. 

"You were so young, baby," Robert told her. "That's why we have that photo album, so you see her anytime you want."

"Are you ever going to ask Aaron out on a date?" Mila wanted to know. She was quite proud of herself for finally being able to pronounce his name right. 

"What?" Robert was so shocked by how quickly Mila went from being sad about her mum to asking about Aaron, that it didn't register right away what she had said. 

"A date. You know, take him to dinner or the movies or something. Like grown ups do when they like someone."

"I, uh..."

"You like Aaron, don't you daddy?"

He loved Aaron, and he knew his daughter was half way there, too. Aaron had that affect on people, he supposed, but he couldn't help but worry about the impact Aaron's celebrity would have on her. They wouldn't have any privacy. It would be impossible for them to walk down the street, to the super market, to the playground, without being photographed. Then there were all the tabloids, the magazines, the speculation that would splashed across the page. He would constantly be dealing with rumor after rumor, like Aaron's "relationship" with Leo. The tabloids were still trying to make something of a story that wasn't true. Would he be able to deal with all of that? He trusted Aaron, and he knew that was half of the battle. He would learn to adjust to life dating someone famous, but it wasn't just him that he had to think about. His little girl came first above all else and that's what worried him, how this big change would impact her and the quiet little life they were accustomed to.

It would be hard, Robert knew, but he also knew it would be worth it because the truth was, no matter how many times he tried to deny it, his heart belonged to the grumpy and sexy, Aaron Dingle, and he was worth dealing with all of the nosy reporters, the lack of privacy, and everything else that came with having a relationship with him, because the alternative was something he just couldn't fathom. He'd already had a brief glimpse of what life would be like without Aaron in it, and it wasn't something he ever wanted to relive.

He wanted a future with Aaron, whatever that entailed, his insecurities be damned.

"Of course I do, he's very nice," Robert managed to get out.

"Then I think you should ask him out," Mila said, like it was the most logical thing in the world to do. "I think he likes you. He comes here a lot."

"He's pretty taken with you, princess," Robert said, bending down to kiss her freckled nose. "How do you know he doesn't just keep coming around to see your pretty little face?"

"Uncle Adam said Aaron's been really sad for a long time but now he's happy. It makes me sad."

"What does, sweetheart?"

"That he was sad before. I don't like seeing him sad. I like it when he smiles."

He did, too. "He lost someone very close to him, that's why he gets sad sometimes."

"Like we lost mommy?"

"Yes, exactly like how we lost mommy. So that's why he gets sad sometimes, just like we do."

"When I see him, I'm going to give him a big hug."

Robert smiled. "I"m sure he'd like that. Now come on," he said, reaching for her hand, "we've got a party to get to."

 _I love him_ , he thought as he buckled Mila up in her car seat then slid behind the wheel and turned on the ignition. _Recklessly and without caution._ And the only obstacle in their way - besides his own insecurities - was his worry that Mila wasn't ready for him to be involved with someone, especially someone as famous as Aaron, but now, with the way she so blatantly told him to ask Aaron out as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do, it didn't look that it was going to be a problem. In fact, he was pretty sure she would love the idea of him dating Aaron. He shouldn't have been surprised, he thought. Mila had such an open heart and she gave her love so freely without reservation, and she had taken to Aaron almost immediately after they met.

He was all in, and he wanted Aaron more than he wanted his next breath and he wasn't going to let anything - or anyone - ruin his one chance at happiness.

* * *

Robert pulled his car up to the valet of the hotel, and after he helped Mila out of the car, he reached for her hand. "There will be lots of cameras here tonight. If it gets to be too much, you tell me okay?"

"Okay, daddy," Mila said, but she didn't look the least bit intimidated by all the cameras already pointed at them. She smiled shyly and did a curtsy, any nerves she might have had forgotten. The photographers that were already lined up at the main entrance took the opportunity they were given and snapped pictures of Mila before Robert kneeled down beside her so they could take a few of the two of them together.

 _Better get used to this,_ he thought as he wrapped an arm around her tiny shoulders. This was a good practice run for what they were about to face when his relationship with Aaron went public. So far, Mila didn't seem to be fazed at all. In fact, she was beaming. 

Guests were already piling in and filling up the room where the reception was being held and drinks were already being served when Robert stepped into the back room to hang his and Mila's coats up. Mila had already wandered off with Vic to get some punch.

Robert heard the door to the bathroom open and Aaron emerged.

Dressed in a perfectly pressed shirt with a black bow tie hanging loosely around his neck, Aaron played with the cuff link under the tailored black suit jacket that was hugging his shoulders. 

When their eyes met, a smile curled Aaron's mouth, the same one that had caught Robert's eye the first time they met.

It took Robert a minute to get his mouth working. "Hey."

"Hey yourself," Aaron said with a glint in his eyes. "You like?"

 _Oh yes, I definitely like._ But Robert said nothing as he reached out and fingered the bow tie around Aaron's neck. "You look nice." _Smooth, Sugden. Real smooth._

Aaron looked into Robert's eyes as ran a hand down the lapel of Robert's suit jacket. Robert always oozed charm, but tonight he seemed nervous. "You don't look so bad yourself."

Robert's mouth quirked at the side. "Mila picked out my tie. At first I wasn't a fan of it, but now...."

"I think your tie is....very nice. She did a good job in picking it out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Aaron cupped the back of Robert's neck and brought their mouths together. 

Robert moaned at the contact and tried to keep himself from sliding his hands into Aaron's perfectly styled hair. Instead, he grabbed either side of Aaron's jacket and deepened the kiss. As soon as he felt Aaron's tongue tangle with his, his tempature spiked.

Aaron pulled his mouth free and shook his head. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't have done that but you just look so..."

Robert raised an eyebrow. "So?"

Aaron licked his lips then he winked, which was only making it harder for Robert to have any control on how his body reacted to the man still pressed up against him. "You look good. So damn good that if it wasn't for all the people out there, I'd be dragging you to the floor and taking you right here."

Robert had to turn away from Aaron before he gave into the temptation he was feeling to just lock the door and shut the rest of the world away. But then he heard muffled voices on the other side of the door and his name being called and through the haze of his desire he remembered why they were here.

"We better get out there," Robert said, the desire in his eyes and the explosive kiss he planted on Aaron a promise of what was to come after the party was over and they were alone again. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally I was going to end the fic here, but after all of the comments I've decided to take a look into the future in the final 2 chapters (6 months after this chapter ends). Thanks again for all of the love for this fic, it means a lot (especially after I almost didn't write this and was adamant I would never write again!) :)

As the night got underway, drinks were poured, food was served, and Aaron stood at the front of the crowded room with Robert as he stepped up to the podium and spoke into the microphone.

"I can't thank you all enough for coming tonight and supporting Angela's Angels," Robert began. "I know Angela is looking down tonight and is proud of what we've been able to accomplish in such a short time in her honor. As many of you know, Angela was tragically killed in a motor vehicle accident three years ago. Not only did I lose my wife, but my daughter lost her mother. It's been a tough road, and there were many nights I wondered how we were going to get through to the next day, but I'm proud to stand here today. It is because of organizations like Angela's Angels that we were able to make it through. That's why we started Angela's Angels. I wanted to give a little back to the community that was there, offering support when I needed it the most. I can't bring Angela back, god knows I wish I could, but what I can do is continue to shine a light on drunk driving and how many lives it affects. So once again, thank you to every single person here tonight." And then he turned to look at Aaron. "And we couldn't be more honored that this year's speaker is none other than Aaron Dingle. You may know him for his movie roles, but over the last few weeks, I've come to learn that there is so much more to him than that. I'm going to hand tonight's festivities over to him, and thank you all once again for your time, your generosity, and your kindness." He handed the microphone over to Aaron, and as their fingers touched, a fire started to ignite. 

"You're incredible," Aaron whispered, squeezing Robert's arm, his voice low enough that Robert was the only one that could hear him.

For a brief moment, Robert forgot they were in a room full of people and that everyone was staring at them. He lowered his arm from where it was on Aaron's lower back, then he slunk back into the shadows and let Aaron do his thing and hoped no one had noticed.

****

Robert leaned against the bar with a drink in his hand and watched Aaron work the room. It shouldn't have surprised him that Aaron was handling all of the attention like a pro. After all, he dealt with the media and thousands of fans on a daily basis. He was charming and engaging, and there wasn't one person that stopped to talk to him that he didn't smile at and laugh with. 

What he didn't expect to feel was how fiercely he wished they were the only two in the room. They were surrounded by hundreds of people, it would be impossible to steal Aaron away for a few minutes, no matter how strong the urge was to have Aaron alone. He swirled the scotch in his glass around and contemplated asking the bartender for another, but then caught Victoria's eyes and headed towards their table. Mila was already fast asleep, snuggled up in Victoria's lap. 

"I don't know how she can sleep through all the noise," Robert said, brushing a stray curl away from Mila's face, who didn't stir at all. The speeches were over and now the floor was cluttered with couples dancing, guests mingling and talking loudly over the music blaring through the speakers. By his estimation, they had already surpassed last year's donations. 

"Adam and I are thinking of heading out soon," Victoria said. "She can stay the night at our place. You can just come grab her in the morning."

"Are you sure? I don't want to---"

"We want to," Victoria said. "I'm getting pretty tired myself. Growing a baby is exhausting."

They had only found out about Victoria's pregnancy a few weeks ago, and Robert was only one of the few people they had shared their good news with. Not just about them having a baby, but also their engagement. He couldn't wait to tell Mila she was going to be having a baby cousin. "Thanks, Vic. I'll be lucky if I get out of here by two."

"He's impressive, isn't he?" 

Robert tore his eyes away from his sleeping daughter and looked at Victoria. "What?"

"Aaron," Victoria said. "When he's in his element like this you forget all about the big crank that he tries to pretend he is. Deep down he's just this fiercely loyal and giving person. It's nice to see this side of him again. And he looks happy, and so do you."

" _He_ makes me happy," Robert said. As if he heard them talking about him, Aaron turned from the couple he was talking to and pinned Robert with a look so sinful and devious, Robert had to grip the edge of the table to keep from falling over. Then Aaron raised his glass of champagne and took a sip, trying to hide the grin on his face. Robert raised his own glass to his lips and downed the rest of the contents.

Adam chose that moment to arrive back to the table with their coats over his arm. "Aaron is fed up with me hovering around him so I'm done for the night. We can head home now. You need to get your rest," Adam said, already showing the signs of an overprotective daddy to be. He bent down to lift Mila up off Victoria's lap, and when he did her head fell to his shoulder. She still didn't wake.

"We'll see you in the morning then?" Victoria said, pulling on her coat and grabbing her purse from the floor.

"Yeah, you bet," Robert said. "Thanks for coming tonight. Thanks for everything, Vic. I mean it. I couldn't have gotten through the last couple of years without you."

* * *

Aaron shook hands with the couple he'd been talking to for the past twenty minutes and thanked them for their kind donation to Robert's charity. They had lost their youngest daughter to a drunk driver and had made a very hefty donation, so when they asked if they could have an autograph for their youngest daughter, he couldn't say no. He took the pen the woman handed out to him then grabbed a napkin from the nearest table and scrawled out a little note and signed it before handing it over.

"Thank you. Lila is such a huge fan of yours," the woman said as she tucked the napkin into her purse. 

"She's actually the reason we came tonight," her husband said. "She thought it would be good for us to get out and when she found out you would be the emcee, well, she insisted on it."

"I'm glad she did," Aaron said. "Again, I am so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." The woman dabbed at her eyes with a hankerchief. "It was so nice meeting you."

"You too." He smiled at her, and as he watched them walk towards the exit, his eyes sought and landed on Robert's across the room. He fiddled with his tie as he grabbed another glass of champagne off the tray of a waiter passing by as he waited for Robert to make his way over to him.

"That was really sweet of you," Robert said, smiling at him. 

"What was?"

"When that couple first walked in tonight they looked like they wanted to be anywhere but here. They obviously lost someone they loved very much, my guess would be a child. But a few minutes with you and they left with smiles on their faces."

Aaron shrugged. "I didn't do much. Talked to them, thanked them for their donation, then I gave them an autograph to give to their daughter."

"See?" Robert smiled. "Sweet, just like I said. Vic and Adam just took Mila to their's for the night. Did you have plans for the rest of the night or...." 

"Actually, yes I do have plans."

"Oh," Robert said, and Aaron wanted to kiss the disappointed look he was sporting right off his face.

"With you, you idiot. I have plans to spend the rest of the night with you."

* * *

Leo stood at the far end of the bar and watched. He'd been keeping an eye on Aaron all night from the minute he had stepped up on stage until now. And as he watched the smile that nearly split Aaron's face into two, he couldn't help but wonder what made him smile like that because he'd never shown this side of himself to anyone. It was a private smile, meant only for the man he was talking to.

He waited by the bar until he saw Aaron's companion leave before he made his approach and tapped Aaron on the shoulder.

 _Fuck,_ Aaron thought as he turned around and found himself looking at Leo. _Just my luck. We finally have a minute alone and I had to run into this guy. I just can't seem to get rid of him._

"Good evening," Leo said.

Aaron narrowed his eyes as he pushed Leo's hand off his shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

Leo looked around the room which was now pretty much empty except for the band who was just starting to pack up, then his eyes landed back on Aaron. "This is a charity event, is it not? I have money and I like to support a good cause. And I knew you would be here, and since we are supposed to be dating..."

"We're not," Aaron muttered.

"But the rest of the world doesn't know that."

"Anybody ever tell you you're annoying as fuck?"

"What can I say. It's a gift."

"Well, as you can see, the party is over so...." When Leo tried to touch his arm, Aaron took another step back. "Quit it, would you?"

"What's up with that guy over there?" Leo said, and when they both looked back at the bar, there was Robert, watching them, his expression unreadable. Aaron could only imagine what he was thinking, and he wanted to go over there and put all of these rumors to rest and assure Robert that _he_ was the man he wanted. "He's been watching us for the last few minutes. If looks could kill. Is that an ex-boyfriend of yours?"

"No," Aaron said. "Just a friend." God, he hated lying, especially about something that he wanted to scream from the rooftops.

"Okay then, so you wouldn't mind if I went over there and introduced myself to your _friend_?"

_Yes, I fucking would._

Before Aaron could stop him, Leo approached the bar, Aaron following closely behind. When Leo reached out his hand to Robert, Aaron saw Robert reluctantly shake it. Aaron didn't know what Leo was up to, or what the hell he was trying to accomplish by talking to Robert, but he knew he had to put a stop to it.

Robert didn't look too pleased, and Aaron didn't blame him. He needed to intervene before Leo said something he shouldn't, which Aaron knew wasn't likely to take long.

"Leo," Aaron said in a warning tone. 

"What? I was just coming over to introduce myself to your friend. That's what you said, that you two were friends, so what's the harm?"

Robert didn't even flinch. As if he'd rehearsed this scene in his mind a thousand times, his face expressionless, he studied Leo. "No harm. Since Aaron hasn't introduced us, I'm Robert."

"Leo." 

_Yes, I fucking know who you are,_ Robert thought.

"I know," Robert said. "I've seen a few of your movies and Aaron tells me you're working on a film together."

"That's right," Leo said. "Hard to believe we're already done filming. I guess time flies while you're having fun." He winked at Aaron.

"Stop it," Aaron said, irritated.

 _Apparently, this guy isn't deterred by the word no,_ Robert thought. Then, as if Leo hadn't just blatantly hit on his boyfriend - in front of him - he picked up the shot of tequila the bartender had just poured and downed it.

"Ahh, I see," Leo said as it finally clicked. "You two have a thing going on."

Aaron let out an irritated sigh. "None of your business," he said, thinking it was a miracle that he hadn't strangled Leo yet.

"He's attractive," Leo mused. "But he's way out of his league. He'll never satisfy you."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Robert said, his anger rising at every new word out of Leo's mouth.

"Oh, he satisfies me just fine," Aaron said, surprising the hell out of both Robert and Leo.

Leo chuckled. "Man, I'm just messing with you. I actually came here to tell you that I've met someone and now that I've seen you've got your eye on someone as well that we should make a joint statement together, confirming that the rumors about the two of us were just that - rumors. I thought that I could go along with it if it got us more publicity for the movie, but the thing is I don't want to risk losing this guy. It's been a hard enough adjustment for him and the whole celebrity thing."

"I can understand that. It's been hard for me and Robert too. Nothing is more important to me than him, not even my career. It doesn't even come close. I don't want to lose him."

"You're not going to," he heard Robert say.

"We're in agreement, then." Leo looked at Robert. "If I had known he was taken I never would have hit on him."

"Well, now you know," Robert said, and smiled when he felt Aaron interlace their fingers.

Robert looked at Aaron, and the anger Aaron felt seconds ago had been replaced with love and pride. Everything they'd been through in the short amount of time they'd been together was worth _that look_.

"Okay I'm going to get out of here and leave you two love birds alone," Leo said.

But they weren't paying attention to him. Their undivided attention was on each other.

"Did you mean what you said before?" Robert asked, breaking the silence between them.

"Every word," Aaron said, and he loved that he didn't even have to stop to think about it. Every word he said to Leo was true. Losing Robert wasn't an option. When Robert's eyes found his, Aaron felt his heartbeat pick up pace. 

Robert's heart thumped in his chest as he realized just what hearing those words out of Aaron's mouth had meant. "I would never ask you to give up your career for me."

"I know," Aaron said. "But I would if it came down between a choice between the two. It wouldn't even be a choice. I love you."

A small smile crossed Robert's lips before he pressed them against Aaron's. "I love you too. Now what do you say we get out of here. I want to be alone with you."

"We are alone," Aaron said looking around. There was not a single person in sight and the lights were dimmed low and they were swaying back and forth as if there was music playing. When had that happened?

"Ever since you ran into me," Robert said as they danced, "I've been a goner. You had my heart from that first day."

Aaron crushed their mouths together. The heat seared his skin, and the moan that escaped his lips was from tormented pleasure of not being able to kiss him like this all night. And when Robert's mouth parted under his and their tongues tangled, Aaron grabbed the material of Robert's shirt and held on.

On an oath, Robert tore his mouth away and buried it against Aaron's throat. Whatever slippery grip he had on his control, he clamped tight now, fighting to catch his breath and hold onto what was left of his sanity.

Aaron locked his arms around Robert's neck. "Your place or mine?" he whispered.

"I don't care," Robert rasped. "Whichever is closest. I want you." And then his mouth was on Aaron's again, hard, hot, desperate. 

"Robert." Desire arced and spiked and hummed, and they were both still fully clothed. He needed Robert alone and naked, and he needed it now. "Grab your coat and let's get out of here."

And as they walked out together towards their future - their future together - Aaron found that for the first time in his entire life he was exactly where he wanted to be and he couldn't wait to see what the future had in store.


	19. Chapter 19

_Seven months later_

He'd been looking forward to tonight all week, and he hated that his mum, of all people, had ruined it for him. With only a handful of words, she'd managed to hurt him, destroy what little trust he had left in her, and ruin what was supposed to have been a happy celebration.

_He's going to hurt you, Aaron. Wake up. Marry him? What are you thinking? I'm not going to sit around and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life._

Then she'd stormed out of the pub, leaving everyone in the room stunned, but no one more than Aaron. He sat frozen as the door slammed behind her. Then he felt Robert's hand slip into his and he put on a fake smile that he knew Robert could see right through.

Her words had crushed him, rendering him speechless for the rest of the night. Robert was worried about him but for Mila's sake, he hadn't pushed him to talk about it.

Later that night as he unlocked the door to his and Robert's new flat and flicked on the lights, he still felt numb. 

Aaron stopped and took a moment to just look around the house that he and Robert had bought together. The art that adorned the rich blue walls was Robert's, as were all the fancy kitchen gadgets that Robert insisted he couldn't live without. Aaron had realized not long after moving in with Robert just how little worldly possessions he had.

A few days after the charity event they went public with their relationship, and they'd been practically inseparable ever since. Even when Aaron was away on location for days at a time shooting his new movie, they couldn't go any length of time without talking on the phone or video chatting. Aaron was, for the first in his life, happy, really fucking happy, but now his happiness was being threatened all because his mother was so fucking close-minded when it came to Robert.

He rubbed his forehead where a headache was threatened to bloom and stripped off his coat. 

With Mila on his hip, Robert kissed his forehead. "I"m going to go up and get this little one into bed. I'll be back, don't you go anywhere." Mila, who was already half-asleep, yawned and tightened her hold around Robert's neck.

Aaron kissed her cheek, then watched them go up the stairs, the two people he loved more than anything in the world, still too stunned by tonight's events to speak.

* * *

Aaron stripped down, turned on the shower in their ensuite, and stepped in, hoping to burn some of the fatigue away. He'd been working a lot of long hours lately, traveling back and forth between Emmerdale and London. He couldn't even remember the last time he had been home to help tuck Mila into bed or had the energy to do anything but crawl into bed beside Robert and sleep. Between him filming his new sci-fi thriller and other life responsibilities, their time alone had been practically non-existent, and tonight he had planned to rectify that, but after what happened tonight at the pub, his plans were pretty much shot. 

_Talk about a fucking mood killer._

When he stepped out of the shower, he reached for a towel and scrubbed it over his hair. Damp, it curled past the nape of his neck. He dried off and pulled on a pair of gray sweat pants and pulled back the navy blue duvet and crawled under the covers and switched off the light. 

In the dark, he could hear the sizzle of rain against the windows. He tried to close his eyes to block out tonight, but he was pissed. But when Robert crawled in beside him, Aaron's body immediately took notice.

"Are you okay?"

Aaron folded his hands over his chest and turned to look at the man who had surprised the hell out of him by breaking down the walls he kept around his heart, who was always there for him, who loved him just as fiercely as Aaron loved him.

When Aaron didn't say anything, Robert reached for his hand, already knowing what kind of thoughts were running around his head even though Aaron hadn't spoken a word since they got home. He didn't just want to reassure Aaron, he needed to. "The man I know, the man I love, he feels everything. He taught me how to feel things I didn't know I was even capable of feeling anymore. I'm not going to let you sit here and beat yourself up for what your mum said."

Robert could read him better than anyone else, and trying to hide anything from him was pointless. Especially when it came to issues with his family. Robert knew how manipulative his mum could be, after all she had been the one to plant doubt in Robert's mind when they had first gotten together, threatening to tell Aaron about the one-night stand he'd had when he'd still been married. She had shown no regard at all for Robert's feelings, choosing spite over her own son by trying to keep them apart. Only it hadn't worked.

Robert had been unfaithful, but it hadn't been a happy marriage, and even though Aaron knew that wasn't an excuse, he understood why Robert did it. Maybe because he knew the man Robert was now and that's why it didn't bother him. Or maybe it was because Robert had told him the truth on his own terms. The revelations Robert had made hadn't altered the way Aaron felt about him at all, If anything it had strengthened the bond that had already been forming between them.

Robert's indiscretions were in the past, and Robert was not that man anymore, Aaron knew that with absolute certainty, and the sooner his mother realized that and was happy for them, the better. If not, well.....she wasn't going to be welcome at the wedding.

She had already been skating on thin ice with him. Aaron was still sore at her for making Robert doubt himself, and for making Robert feel so guilty that he had nearly walked away from what they had. But he'd put aside his anger because he was so tired of being angry. For the first time in a long time, he was happy and he didn't want anything destroying that.

He went over her words in his head, and he still couldn't believe it or make sense of it. He was happy and in love, isn't that what parents wanted for their children? That was all Aaron wanted for Mila, and she wasn't even his biological child. But she was his child in all the ways that mattered, and in a few months time, it would be official.

Marrying Robert and building their life together was all Aaron had thought about the last few months as he dragged Adam from jewelry store to jewelry store looking for the perfect ring. He had it all planned out, he was just waiting for the right moment, and when that moment presented itself, Aaron found himself down on one knee, with Mila by his side, proposing to the love of his life. It had just been an ordinary day and it had been perfect. Robert had been shocked when he came home from a long day at the office to find candles lit up all around the living room and the two people he loved more than anything in the middle of the room. With his heart feeling like it was beating outside of his chest, Aaron proposed.

And Robert had said yes.

They were blissfully happy, planning a wedding and their future, but now their happiness just felt tainted by his mother's cruel and unwarranted display at the pub.

He deserved to be happy after all of this time. Why couldn't she see how happy Robert made him, how happy they made each other?

"On what should have been one of the happiest days of our lives, she stood there in front of all of our friends, not to mention your daughter, and told me I was making a huge mistake if I married you. How can you be so calm about this after what she said?" It was the first time Aaron had spoken since they got home, and his voice was full of emotion, of hurt and anger.

Robert was anything but calm, in fact, he was just as upset as Aaron, if not more, but he couldn't show it, not in front of Mila. But now that she was fast asleep in bed, he could let it all out. "Of course I"m upset. Tonight was supposed to be about you and me, and I know she's your family so I tried really hard to bite my tongue, especially with my daughter sitting right there. But I'm not going to lie, it hurt hearing her say those things, but again she's your mum and I knew you were upset and I didn't want to make it harder on you. And with your crazy schedule the way it is right now, I didn't want to add to..."

"Screw that," Aaron said, his temper flaring to the boiling point. "And I don't care what her excuses are, she had no right to say those things."

"Aaron, calm down," Robert said, but he knew it was no use.

"I don't want to calm down. I left it alone when I found out she went behind my back and tried to guilt you the first time because I didn't want to make a scene. But she's never going to change, I know that, but I hoped now that some time has passed and she's seen how we are together she would change her mind and accept us. But that's never going to happen is it?"

"Based on how things went tonight?" Robert said. "I doubt it."

"This doesn't change anything, does it? Between you and me, I mean. If she scared you off from wanting to marry me..."

"Is that what you're worried about, that I'm going to change my mind about us?"

"It happened before."

While that comment stung, it reminded Robert of the brief moment he had let someone else's opinion of him and his own insecurities take over and that if he had given in he wouldn't be here right now with this amazing man and living this beautiful life they had built together. They had come too far, worked too hard to let his insecurities win out again. "I know, but things were different then. The idea of us was still new. I didn't know how important you were to me, how much I loved you. I'm not giving you up, not for your mum, not for anybody. I need you to believe that." Robert leaned in for a kiss and absently fingered one of the curls by Aaron's ear. "I love you."

"I love you too," Aaron said, leaning into Robert's touch.

"You know," Robert said as he casually brushed his lips over Aaron's again, "we did just get engaged and we never really did get to celebrate..." After another long lingering kiss, he whispered. "and I think it's time we rectify that."

The second Robert's hands were on his skin, Aaron's teeth sunk into his lower lip and the heated look Robert aimed at him had Aaron so turned on he was surprised he was able to string two words together.

"I've missed you, I've missed this."

"I have too," Robert said, and the second his finger touched the silver band on Aaron's left hand, Aaron shut his eyes. "Keep your eyes open. I want to see your face when I make you come apart."

* * *

_A few days later_

"Aaron's not here," Robert said as he opened the door to find Chas on the other side. "He won't be home for a few days and I'm not really in the mood to listen to you have another go at me so..."

"Aaron's not answering my calls."

"Can you blame him after what you pulled the other night?"

She frowned, and looked about to argue, then changed her mind. "I guess I deserve that."

He shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans and faced the window, keeping an eye on Mila as she played in her sandbox, struggling to stay composed and not let his anger get the best of him. It wouldn't do any good. "You don't know me, not anymore," he said. "You've never even given me a chance. You can't see past the person I used to be, the mistake I made when Angela and I were married. I'm not saying that's an excuse, but Chas, it was a mistake and not one I'm proud of, and honestly, I'm tired of defending myself to you. I love your son, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him so you better get used to it."

"It's no secret how I felt about your affair with Kate," Chas said. 

"It was just a one night stand, it wasn't an affair," Robert said, annoyed that he had to explain himself all over again. "And it was years ago. Whether you believe me or not, I regret what happened, and more than anything I wish I could go back in time and change it but I can't. And I'm not going to let you stand here in _our_ home, the home I share with your son, _my fiance_ , and treat me like I'm some horrible human being. I won't tolerate it, and if Aaron was here he wouldn't either."

"You really love him, don't you?"

The question surprised him. He'd been with Aaron almost a year now, and he thought he had done a pretty good job at proving he was all in. The silver band on his left hand was proof enough of his commitment, but apparently, even all of that wasn't enough to convince Chas Dingle.

"I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't. I wouldn't have bought a house with him, and I definitely would not have let him into my daughter's life if I didn't love him. So yes, I love him, and believe it or not, he loves me and it really hurts him that you won't accept us."

"I was just trying to protect him." Even to her own ears, her defense sounded weak. "You would have done the same thing if you were in my shoes. But that's no excuse, I know that, and I'm sorry." She looked out the same window as Robert and saw Mila laughing and playing like she didn't have a care in the world. Robert was responsible for that. He was a good father, and unless she wanted to lose her son, she was just going to have to accept that this was who Aaron had chosen to spend his life with. She was just going to have to bite the bullet and find a way to put her doubts to rest. For Aaron's sake. If Robert hadn't changed, his true colors would show eventually, and when they did, she would be there for Aaron, to help him through it when Robert broke his heart. But for now, she would give Robert the benefit of the doubt. She owed him that much. People changed, she knew that better than anyone. God, she hated that Robert was right, worse, she hated when she was in the wrong. "You're a good father, Robert. Angela would be proud of the job you've done with her."

Completely taken by surprise by the compliment, Robert walked back into the kitchen and gestured to the coffee pot. "You want some coffee?"

It was the first step, he thought as he watched Chas perch herself on a stool at his kitchen island as he reached for two mugs from the shelf and slowly felt his anger dissipate.

They may have had a rocky start, but they were going to be okay. Robert was sure of it, and he couldn't wait until Aaron got home so they could finally start the next chapter of their lives together.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron finally get their happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've reached the end of this AU, and it's been so much fun to write. Thanks for all the kudos, comments, love for this fic.

_Nine Months Later_

Robert stood in front of the mirror and tightened the knot of the navy blue tie around the base of his throat then smoothed a hand down the front of the white dress shirt before grabbing the matching blue suit jacket that was hung up on the back of the door. 

As he shrugged into it, he took a deep breath and thought back to the day he met Aaron. The day that had forever changed his life. Robert could remember every single detail of their run in. From the confused way he felt when their hands touched and the way his body had responded, to exactly what Aaron had been wearing. It was crazy to look back on that moment now and realize that, at that precise moment in time, he'd met the man he was going to marry in - Robert checked his watch - thirty five minutes.

Who would have guessed it? Two people from two totally different worlds colliding and with one look both of their lives had changed forever. The moment their eyes met, something inside that he thought had died came back to life. 

He'd sworn off love and relationships after losing Angela, focusing all of his attention on his young daughter, but watching the two of them together now, the way Aaron loved her and the way she idiolized him, Robert couldn't describe how lucky he felt to have bumped into Aaron that day. The man who had been lonely, whose only goal in life, other than raising his daughter, was to be a success in the business world, was long gone, replaced with a man who had fallen hard and fallen fast for one of the country's most eligible bachelors.

Yeah, he was fucking lucky. And he promised himself that this time, with Aaron, it was forever. Nothing compared to how he felt about Aaron, nothing had ever even come close. And today was just the start of the rest of their lives together.

It was going to be perfect.

He thought he would feel more nervous. Waking up this morning in their bed alone had felt weird, but before he could even reach over for his phone to send Aaron a quick _Good Morning_ text, Mila was in their room, full of energy and excitement, jumping on their bed as she did every morning. But still he couldn't help but think about the man several houses away, most likely still sleeping in his old room at his mum's place.

At least they'd had a few interrupted hours together when Aaron had snuck over after everyone had gone to bed last night, Robert thought. That made it easier waking up this morning alone, but Robert still missed him, which was strange because they were used to being apart for longer stretches of time than this. The last few weeks they were lucky to find two minutes alone together between all of the final wedding preparations and Aaron's hectic schedule. But last night, well it almost made up for all that lost time.

_Flashback - last night_

"That was quick."

"As soon as I got your text that the coast was clear, you didn't think I was going to waste any time getting over here, did you?" Aaron said as he closed the window he'd just climbed through. 

"We have to be quiet or someone will catch us."

Aaron took in the sight of Robert, with no shirt on, in their bed, the white stark bed sheets puddled around his waist and not leaving much to the imagination. "Well, if you keep looking at me like that, I'm not going to be able to stay quiet."

Robert looked at Aaron, and the desire he saw told him he wasn't lying. He crooked a finger as he pulled the sheets back. "Come here."

"I shouldn't be here," Aaron said, even as he crawled under the covers and got as close to Robert as he could. "We're supposed to be spending the night apart."

"I don't know about you," Robert said. "But I think that tradition of spending the night before your wedding apart is stupid. Especially when you just got back from a week in London filming a movie with a newly single movie star whose worth billions of dollars, and I haven't even been able to touch you."

"You have nothing to worry about," Aaron said. "Trust me."

"I know," Robert said. "I just hate when you're gone that long. I know it's your job but the thought of someone else touching you and kissing you, even though it's just acting, makes me very...." Robert leaned over and crushed their lips together in a demanding kiss. "Possessive."

"I'm yours," Aaron said. "I have been since the moment we met."

"I want to show you how much you mean to me." Aaron was everything to him and after tomorrow he wanted Aaron to have no doubt. "I love you."

"I love you too," Aaron said, caressing his cheek, his eyes blazing with a dark, intense heat. "I don't deserve you. You didn't deserve to be thrust into my crazy life, but I'm too selfish to let you go anywhere." His mouth came down on Robert's, crushing his lips in a kiss that held nothing back. "I love you. I love you so much."

"Show me."

And he did, and a couple of hours later, gave Robert one more breath-stealing kiss before he left the same way he came in, leaving his husband-to-be fast asleep in their bed.

* * *

"Robert?"

Victoria's voice broke through his thoughts. 

He was just finishing up his cup of coffee as he sat at the kitchen island. His hair was sticking up in messy spikes where he'd run his fingers through it. "Sorry," he said. "I must have zoned out. I didn't hear you come in."

Victoria smiled, the light blue dress she was wearing was simple, elegant and showed off her growing baby bump beautifully. She was glowing, Robert thought. Absolutely glowing.

"You look nervous," she said.

"Maybe a little," he admitted as he put his mug in the sink and a ran hand through his hair. "I don't know why. I've been waiting for this day for months."

Victoria leaned against the kitchen island and watched her brother run his hands through his hair again, a nervous habit he'd never grown out of. "It's perfectly normal to be nervous. Anyone would be."

"You look beautiful," he said, needing a distraction. He took her hands in his and kissed her cheek. 

"Forget about me, look at you." Victoria let out a whistle. "Aaron is a lucky guy."

"No, I'm the lucky one," Robert said.

"You two are as bad as each other," Victoria said. "Adam told me Aaron is a right mess this morning, a big bundle of nerves."

"Yeah?" That pleased him that he wasn't the only one feeling that way. 

"You're going to be so happy," Victoria said, the tears already welling in her eyes and she hadn't even walked him down the aisle yet. "Be happy, Rob. You deserve it."

"Don't do that," Robert said, pulling her into his arms. 

"Daddy?"

His heart swelled at the sight of Mila at the top of the stairs in a white dress with a pink bow tied at the back. Her curls were flowing freely around her little face, held up by a pink butterfly clip. And in her hands she was holding a little white basket that would later be filled with white flower pedals before she walked down the aisle.

He scooped her up into his arms and twirled her around. "Almost princess. You look absolutely beautiful." She looked so grown up, and that had the tears he'd been fighting to hold in flow freely. He remembered how last night, just like they did every night, they sat together in the overstuffed chair in her room, Mila on his lap and Robert had read her her favorite story before she'd fallen asleep in his arms. He'd tucked her in after that, kissed her cheek, then gone back to his own bedroom.

"Stop it," Mila giggled as Robert covered her in kisses. "Daddy will be mad if we're late."

Robert put her down then reached for her hand. It warmed his heart how quickly Mila had started calling Aaron _daddy_ after the adoption was finalized.

Life was pretty fucking sweet, and today it was only going to get sweeter.

Robert kissed the tip of her nose. "Well we can't have that, can we?"

* * *

Aaron sat up in bed and reached for his phone under the pillow. Just as he was hoping for, a text from Robert was waiting for him.

_Happy wedding day, husband to be. How did you sleep?_

Aaron grinned and typed back, _It's a wonder I slept at all._ Then he took a quick selfie of him laying against the pillows and sent it off. When his phone buzzed not five seconds later, he grinned.

_I almost forgot how sexy you look when you first wake up. It feels like it's been forever since we woke up together in the same bed. But trust me, tonight, I plan to rectify that. You're not going to be able to move for a week._

The visual of what he knew would happen tonight, when they were final alone had Aaron leaning back against the pillows and closing his eyes. He texted back a few minutes later, _I can't fucking wait. I have to go have a shower now, thanks for that. See you soon, I'll be the one in the suit._

Then he got up, stretched, and when his eyes landed on the tux hanging on the back of the door, he smiled.

Today he was getting married.

And he couldn't fucking wait.

****

In the public eye, Aaron had always portrayed himself as someone who had the world at his feet and everything he ever wanted. When people saw his face splashed all over magazines and on the movie screen, he wanted people to see someone who had it all together, whose life was pefect. Even he had started to believe it was true.

But that image he had so carefully perfected had been nothing but an illusion.

But now, now he was, for the first time in his life, happy. And now, with Robert, he wanted it all. Not just his love, not just a promise of forever, but family and babies and happiness and tears. They had already talked about growing their family, and they hadn't told anyone yet but they had already met a potential surrogate.

Chas stood in the doorway, her eyes already glistening at the sight of her son standing there in his wedding suit. "You look so handsome," she managed, grabbing a hankerchief from her purse and dabbing her eyes.

"Don't you start," Aaron said before he pulled her in for a hug. It felt like a lifetime ago that she had stood up in the pub at their engagement party warning him that marrying Robert would be the biggest mistake of his life and now she was one of their biggest supporters. 

"I heard you sneak out of the house last night," Chas said as she straightened his tie.

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Keeping tabs on me?"

"You couldn't stay away from each other for just one night?"

"Not when I just spent the last month in London and barely home," Aaron said, unapologetic. 

"He really does loves you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see it."

Aaron had always known, without a single doubt, that he'd finally found what he'd been looking for, a man that loved him not because he was rich and famous, but loved _him,_ flaws and all. In Robert he had found his soul mate, the one person in the world that he knew was meant for him.

And Aaron loved him right back, with every piece of his heart. 

"You see it now, that's what matters," Aaron said as he took one last look in the mirror. "He's all I've ever wanted. I can't believe I waited so long to find him. But I'm never letting him go."

* * *

The press was waiting as he stepped outside, but he didn't pay any attention to the flashing cameras or the microphones shoved in his face. All he could see was Robert standing there, and his daughter, _their daughter,_ a smile on her face so angelic he couldn't help but lean down and kiss her cheek.

"Hey," Aaron managed, his voice raw with emotion. "You both look amazing. I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

Robert reached out and fingered the blue tie knotted at the base of Aaron's throat. "Hey yourself. And we're the ones that are lucky."

"We'll give you two a minute," Chas said. "Come on sweetheart, let's give your daddies a couple of minutes alone." She grabbed Mila's hand and they started to walk down the road towards the woodlands where the wedding ceremony was being held.

"So, I have this wedding to go to," Robert said when they were alone. "And I need a date. You interested?"

Aaron took Robert's face between his hands, and not caring that cameras were catching their every move, Aaron kissed him. "I suppose I don't have much else going on," he said with a shrug.

Robert's eyes shifted to the cameras behind them, then he brought his eyes back to meet Aaron's and the smile that curved his lips had Aaron fighting back tears. How the hell he was going to get through saying his vows, he didn't know.

"Just in case I don't tell you enough today," Robert said as he reached for Aaron's hand and they started to walk down the road, "I love you."

Aaron had known his whole life that something was missing, but it wasn't until Robert had bumped into him - literally - that he finally figured out what it was.

Aaron's eyes flashed to Robert's and when he saw nothing but love staring back at him, he smiled. "I love you too. Now let's go, I've waited forever for you and I don't want to wait another minute."


End file.
